You’ve seen it. Maybe you even did it. The 30 days of thanks on Facebook, Twitter, and whatever social media that is out there and I don’t know about.
I am thankful for my wonderful husband
Sooooo thankful for my beautiful children
How could I not be thankful for my parents, dog, in-laws, cousins, job, house, Nutella (OK I added that last one 🙂 )
I really love the idea behind these posts, but come on! We know you are thankful for all of these things because you would be a big scumbag if you weren’t thankful. Yes, it is nice to have a reminder of our blessings, but what I really want to see are those ridiccious, selfish, and guilty pleasures you are giving thanks for this holiday season.
So in my full on snarky mode from reading the 757,3637,852 posts about being thankful for your well behaved children (liars), I challenged my Facebook friends to stop being polite and start getting real– Sorry I just had a flashback to college where I would be stuck inside all day watching a Real World marathon—Anywho, I challenged them to tell us all what they are REALLY thankful for and let me tell you, my FB friends did not disappoint. Here is what they shared:
I really love reading the things people are thankful for, but let’s be honest, what we really want to see is the ridiculous and honest list of why you are thankful. I’ll go first: I am thankful Facebook and camera phones did not exist when I was in college. Boom–Who’s next?
- I am thankful that they make long shirts to wear with skinny jeans!
- I’m thankful that I can buy wine in the grocery store in VA
- I am thankful for naps. Jacoby’s, not mine. Okay, mine too.
- I’m thankful for yoga pants and even more for wine.
- I’m thankful that bathing suit season is seven months away
- I would also like to add that I am thankful for Spanx and blonde highlights. Without both, I would be a hot mess.
- I am thankful that I am retired and my biggest decision is what to have for dinner. Yes Margaret, there IS a Santa Claus!
- I’m thankful for spray tans…fat looks better tan
- I am thankful for tanning beds, highlights and my nights out with the girls
- I’m thankful for a grown up job with a grown up paycheck.
- So thankful for wine and bedtime
- I’m thankful that I can crop pictures on my phone so when I look fat in a picture I can just cut it out
- I am thankful for text messaging. This way I can judge other mothers at the playground, but not get caught being all judgy.
- I’m thankful for Facebook so I don’t have to wait for my high school reunion to see who did what, is what, and ate what. I’m also thankful that leggings are acceptable attire in the winter…every single day.
- Christian Grey and Magic Mike
- I’m thankful for copious amounts of Dunkin Donuts French Vanilla coffee! I seriously start looking forward to my morning joe before I even go to bed.
- I’m thankful for McDonald’s and lollipops!
- I am thankful for pants in the wintertime when I sometimes forget to shave my legs.
- Also, I am thankful for my cleaning lady. Even when there isn’t much budge in the budget, I will always keep Rosa twice a month because I am a horrible housekeeper and I hate to clean toilets.
- I’m thankful that I don’t have to clean my house this holiday week because my 21 year old brother that’s coming to visit doesn’t care what it looks like.
- I am also thankful that I am too old to go boozing on Thanksgiving Eve. Turkey with a hangover is lousy and nothing good ever came out of my antics on this night. I’ll be drinking in my jammies at my parent’s.
- I’m thankful that I’m still DINK status so I don’t feel guilty about buying an at home spray tanning system instead of saving for an offspring’s college. (I had to Google DINK. Apparently it means Dual Income and No Kids, hilar!)
So there you go, honest and real reasons that you are thankful. This time the truth doesn’t hurt, it just reminds me of the good things in life: wine, naps, and leggings.