When you are young and single, having the super flirty friend whose milkshake brings all the boys to the yard is awesome! You can get free drinks, a few dance partners, and witty banter while your wingman does all of the heavy lifting. However, when you are a happily married mother of two, and the milkshake-bringer just happens to be your 18-month-old daughter, well, the effects are just awkward.
From a very early age (I know she is at the ripe old age of 18 months), Mimi began to work her charms on strangers. She sort of has a little system down and it starts out really cute, but after a while, I envision her being a dancing frog that needs pulled off the stage with a huge cane.
It always amazes me that I can’t get the kid to say “milk,” but she can play her coy games of “Look at me. Don’t look at me. Now look at me again. I’m so cute.” This kid is exhausting. Is this foreshadowing of her teenage years? Is this karma? Let’s take a look Mimi in action, shall we?
First there is her favorite barista at Starbucks. He is a cute, young guy that kinda reminds me of Joe from Blue’s Clues. Since that show is one of her favs, I assumed that is why she took a shining to him. While we place our order she would bat those eyelashes at him and play coy while hiding against my shoulder. Ok, cute enough. Then the barista would wave back to her and she would giggle. But it didn’t stop there. Between bites of blueberry muffin and sips of chocolate milk, she would lean back in her high chair and holler to him “hiya” over and over until he notices her. Since I am a bit of a caffeine addict, we stop at the Starbucks a lot and it is the same scenario every time we get there. She seeks him out, they play a little peek-a-boo, and she yells across the coffee shop until he talks to her. Once was cute, but it happens a lot. I may just have to stop going there. OK that is not happening. I will just suck this one up
Her second regular flirt has me a little more concerned. There is a small diner nearby that we frequent so often is has become our own personal “Cheers.” No one yells “Norm!” when we walk in, but they put a diet coke and two chocolate milks on the table when we arrive. To say we go there a lot is an understatement. A young waiter caught Mimi’s eye a few months back. Again a good-looking young guy, but this one has two arms full of tattoos. So, my dear Mimi, you have a thing for the “bad boy” huh? Are you trying to give your dad premature gray hairs? Her routine is the same: a few bats of those gorgeous eyelashes, a couple of peek-a-boos, pretending she’s not interested, then the incessant yelling of “hiya!” Of course this guy eats it up and he plays right back. Maybe he thinks he will get a bigger tip? Sorry buddy, you are teetering on creeping me out. Knock it off and get me another diet coke, and please excuse all of the fries my kids threw on the floor.
Finally today at her Mommy and Me Gym class, she spotted a dad and made a B-line right for him. Now these classes are full of other Mommies and Nannies; the Dads are few and far between. If a Dad rolls into class, his wife is probably pregnant and about to pop or she already popped. So when Mimi made sure this dad played with her in the obstacle course, saw her on the trampoline, and even waved to her while she took a swim in the ball pit, I was getting judgy and mean looks from the other mothers and nannies. I wanted to yell at those terrible women, “‘It’s not me. It’s my kid, and you know what, my kid is way cuter than yours anyway!”
Listen there is no denying that she is stinking cute. That face is like my kryptonite! There is also no denying that I will be promptly locking this sweet flirty girl in her room until she is thirty or longer.