If youth is wasted on the young, then the baby registry is wasted on those without kids. Even if you take the advice of all of your Mommy friends and anyone that adds their two cents, you will get trigger happy when you hit that baby store and end up with some nonsense like this:
When my lovely pregnant buddy Chief asked for baby registry suggestions, I thought I had this easy task in the bag. But it has been a few years since I had the registry gun in hand and took a whirl around the baby store. I started to feel like Will Ferrell in Old School when he gets nervous that he missing out on something new and cool. Of course he was talking about panties and I am talking about baby gear, but I feel his anxiety:
So I thought the easiest thing I could do for my lovely Chief was to tell her what NOT to register for. You need a ton of crap when you have a baby but here are things you don’t need:
The Duckymeter– Yes you will need a rubber ducky for your sweet baby to play with while splashing in the tub; however, you most certainly do not need a duck that tells you the water temperature. You know why? Put your dam hand in the water. Is it too hot? Don’t put your kid in. Is it too cold? Don’t put your kid in. Amazing right! Think of this as “upcycling.”
The wipewarmer– Now who among us wouldn’t want a warm cloth to wipe our tush? Being a baby is hard and all of that pooping and peeing is exhausting. Sit back, relax, and let the wipewarmer produce a warm cloth to ease your worries. OR let the warm, dark, and moist wipewarmer create tons of bacteria that you are about to wipe against your sweet baby’s behind. Gross right? *shudders* Not to mention that the stupid wipewarmer takes more time and care then your newborn with all of the adding water, flipping and changing the pad—forget it! Sorry kid, regular wipes will have to do around here.
Too many strollers– I wish someone had told me to cool it on the stroller purchases because I currently own four strollers. First I had the “Snap and Go” that I could put the kid’s infant carrier in, then I had the regular umbrella stroller for trips to the mall and shopping, don’t forget to throw in a jogging stroller for workouts, and finally a HUGE double stroller once the other kid made an appearance. Our attic looks like the place strollers go to die. If my pregnant readers take nothing else away from this article, take this little nugget—find ONE stroller for all stages of your kid’s life and skip the multiple strollers purchase!
Well with these three things off her list, now she just has to register for the 483,290,202 other items her sweet baby boy will need in a few months. So help me help Chief! What things does she need to leave off the registry list?
I hear you on the strollers! I would suggest also leaving more than 1 swing off of the list: we (read: I) had to have the swing that matched the pack-n-play and travel system, a smaller swing for our bedroom, and then a travel swing for the beach. The beach swing was the fan favorite and I was left wondering where almost $200 went…
I love this one! 😉 Am I biased??? Possibly…
Clothes!!! People will buy you what they like and they are almost impossible to find!
I meant to also say, if there is an outfit/bib/etc. that you LOVE just buy it yourself!
Oh my gosh! Great minds think alike. I went to a shower a few months ago- the first time in a while as I am approaching “a certain age” and I was stunned to see the crap, I mean the stuff that she registered for. I mean really? How did cave women survive without this stuff, right? So I had to send the mom-to-be an email to ask if she would be offended if I did a post about ridiculous baby stuff. Luckily she was not offended at all and said she registered for half that stuff because her mom’s friends were coming to the shower and insisted on “getting something from the registry.” Hysterical! I never got around to doing a final draft of the post but now you’ve inspired me;) Dumbest gift out there: the pee pee tee pee. I mean really, just throw a stupid blanket over the thing and call it a day!
A different kind of hero says
I’m sorry…it was very hard for me to concentrate on this post once I got to Will Ferrell. As my fake sister you should know that I can recite this entire movie off the top of my head and am incapable of having a conversation that doesn’t include at least one line from the movie. I just figured I would be honest, since are we not in the trust tree, in the nest? See. Alright, well keep truckin’. Good stuff.