By now you know that I’m pretty useless during natural disasters (dam earthquakes) and fortunately for my kids and my nerves, we have only had minor boo boos and just a few trips to the local ER. Why did I even write that? Quick, someone knock on wood! But we haven’t been so lucky in the teeth department because even though he has the sweetest smile, my little man has a mouth full of cavities.
Because he is only four and he went bananas on the lady that attempted to take x-rays of his mouth, the dentist recommended that we bang out all of his dental issues while he is in the hospital under careful sedation. And, I’m crying again…
Of course there are millions of scenarios that could be so much worse, dangerous and life threatening, but really it’s all about perspective and what you are going through in that minute. While I am thanking my lucky stars that this is not very serious, I’m still super freaked out and have every intention of losing my shit the minute my kid has been sedated.
At his pre-op appointment with the pediatrician, I asked the nurse to stop calling it “surgery” because my heart can’t take it. When the Doc asked me if I needed anything else, my reply of “how about a couple of Valium?” fell flat on my none-too-impressed audience. I mean dang, I was just kidding (no I wasn’t).
My panic over this procedure has me pulling out the big guns, and I headed off to church to light every candle I could get my hands on. I think I learned in CCD class that candle lighting is the fastest way to get your intentions heard, right? I left the kids at home because I thought it was best to not to have evil feelings of snatching your kids up by their armpit because they are misbehaving in church while laying the prayers on thick. When a little old lady walked by the candles I felt like the mean kids on the bus on Forrest Gump, but I was saying “candles taken.”
My boy is precious cargo and I’m not one that holds in my tears well. The dentist said only one parent can go back with him while he is being sedated and it needs to be the strongest parent. Hubby nodded and said “Guess I will be going in with him.”
Ummmm, acca-scuse me?
No, no you will not go back with him. I’m his mother. I’m the one that birthed him. I’m the one that will be with him while he’s sedated.
When he’s scared, it’s me he wants.
When he’s sick, it’s me he wants.
Am I going to hold it together during most of this process. No, but I promise to only cry in the bathroom where he can’t see me.
Will I threaten to maim the dentist, dental assistant, and the anesthesiologist if my boy isn’t 100%? Yes, yes I will.
Will I drink the largest bottle of wine when this thing is all over? Yes, are you buying?
So on Friday send some positive thoughts my little man’s way, will ya? And if you have any extra Valium hanging around your house, send it my way. I kid, I kid (no I’m not).