Last week I shared with you my excitement over my impending girls weekend. While the week leading up to our mommy getaway seemed to drag on, the actual weekend flew by, sigh. Isn’t that how it always works? I’m not sure if it was the extra sleep, extra wine, extra calories, or extra laughs, but I am feeling all insightful today. Here are the ten things I learned from a girls weekend away from kiddos.
1. Always pack the essentials: booze, forbidden snacks, and small purses when you are away from your kids
2. The ban on talking about your kids will be broken about fifteen minutes into the trip
3. Even if you are all looking smokin’ hot in your skinny jeans and high black boots, you will never feel as uncool as when you roll up to a club in a mini-van full of Mommies.
4.If a brave young man tries to approach you and your gal pals while at a bar, he will be horrified and shocked by the number of children that have been produced by the ladies at the table. Point and laugh as he makes his escape. You might actually see a cloud of smoke forming at his feet because he is running so fast.
5. Don’t bother calling your husband for updates on the kids. You have left them in his care and you cannot control their eating, lack of eating, naps, lack of naps, bad hair, and unbrushed teeth. They will survive and so will you.
6. If we really wanted to solve all of the world’s problems, we would put a bunch of mommies in a car for several hours and let them hash it out. Boom—world peace
7. Never complain about spa time. Maybe you have a chatty masseuse or one that lacks all social graces. Maybe your manicure came out lousy. Maybe there was an error in booking and you end up in a couples massage with your very pregnant friend Coco where you scream “Don’t look at my belly,” and she replies “Don’t look at my belly.” Just quickly get under the covers, assume they don’t think she is carrying your child, kill the laughter, and just enjoy the fact you are getting your back rubbed for an hour.
8. Always drink lots of wine while helping your friends name their unborn children. You will come up with gems like this:
Channing Tatum= sexy
Paul Tatum= just dropped quite a few on the sexy list
9. Because you were so excited, your bags were packed and sitting at the door the morning you left. Just like your bags are packed sitting at the door ready to leave on Sunday. Get me home to my babies!
10. Time with your gals is essential. Everyone needs a break and time away will make you a better mother. However, there is no place like home and nothing better than kissing your babies when you come back refreshed and ready to tackle this mommy thing all over again or at least until the next trip!
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