You know all of that annoying awesome, unsolicited advice that random people share with you while you’re pregnant? Like the time the old lady in Target saw me carrying a then 18 month old Monkey and I was sporting a pretty big belly with #2, and well, here is how the convo went down in the checkout line:
Random stranger: “You’re pregnant already!”
Me: “Yes, it would appear as though I am with child.”
Random Stranger: “Well, I’m sure that (pointing to my bumb) was a mistake!”
Me: “Uhhhhh… nope. She was planned.”
Random Stranger: “Oh a she. Well that is good. Now you can be done having kids.”
Me: “Actually, we are going Dugger Style and popping out about 20 more, but thanks for asking.”
OK, that last part totally didn’t happen, but I wish I was quicker with the whit that day. Cut me some slack, I was pregnant, tired from chasing a toddler, and SHOCKED that some random lady would be so insane at Target. Wal-Mart maybe, but Target? REALLY?
Whether it is your first baby or you are Michelle Dugger and working on #21, random people will offer their well-intentioned, but mostly useless, advice. I’m going to throw my hat in the ring of things you would rather not know, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. Here is one foreshadowed tidbit that actually comes true, your dog becomes a dog.
I know, I know, all of my dog loving, non-mommy readers just gasped in horror. “Girl, you cray cray.” It is a thought too painful to bare; however, it will happen. The animal that you love and adore as if you had birthed her hairy little face yourself, simply becomes the family dog when kids bust up your pooches happy home.
This is my beloved Suggie, my first real baby. The Hubbster and I rescued her from the pound when we were just two crazy kids dating. We adored her, thought she was the smartest, cutest, and well-mannered canine to ever walk the earth. We would lay in bed on weekends and snuggle this sweet pooch and laugh at everyone who thought their dog was the best. Fools, ha!
She was the center of our universe, the star of our Christmas card, and unbeknownst to any of us, her days at the top dog were numbered.
When Monkey came along, it got harder and harder to take her for runs and let’s be honest, feed her twice a day. “Did you feed the dog today or yesterday?” Once Mimi came into our world, Suggie was on suicide watch.
It’s heartbreaking and believe me, I have enough guilt over neglecting the dog (note: by neglect I mean she is not the only child anymore). At night she sleeps in our bed, hogs the blankets, snores in my face and makes me hot all night. I consider this my penance for being a crap doggie-mommy.
As I look at my sleeping pup taking up most of the couch, I have to remember that the days Suggie may look back on as “the good old days” aren’t forgotten. All I can do to assuage my guilt over my Questionable Choices in Parenting is turn a blind eye when she eats yet another toy, let her lick my Lean Cuisine containers, and take funny pictures of her like this: