Questionable Choices in Parenting

Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me

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Worry about yourself!

November 2, 2015 by amushro

Remember this adorable viral video? The little girl desperately tries to strap herself into her carseat, and when her dad offers to help, she barks back “Worry about yourself!” Girlfriend was on to something!

Parenting in this day and age means you are inundated with people telling you how you should raise your children and judging every decision you make. As a mom, it’s virtually impossible to make it out of toddlerhood without falling victim to the dreaded Mommy Wars. But enough is enough.

Let’s all say it together “Worry about yourself!”

Rather than keeping up with every mom on the block or taking a single side of the judgy-wudgy Mommy Wars, let’s focus on what we are doing RIGHT as Moms.

I’ve often said if I can get my kids through adulthood not marrying someone I hate or doing crystal meth, I will call this parenting gig a success; however, I have to wait a long time for that payoff. So, I’m taking the little winning moments where I can get them and focus on Motherhood: How I Know I’m Doing it Right.

  • My kids have just the right amount of unhealthy attachment– My kids love school, will happily stay with a babysitter, and will jump into any crazy inflatable jumpy thing or ball pit as soon as they lay eyes on it, but they always, always look back to make sure I’m there. Boo boos—they need me. A snuggle on the couch—me. Waking up in the middle of the night and need someone to vomit on — always me.
  • When they get a snack or a treat, they always ask for one for their sibling- It doesn’t matter if it is a handful of crackers at home, a lollipop at the hair salon, or a balloon at a birthday party, both kids always ask to take one for the other—always. *Drops mic* *Walks off stage* My job is done here, folks.45bef46be2f1e7746f7914700b9581a83d25ed63
  • They’ve got each other’s backs – While I do not condone violence, I don’t take kindly to older kids picking on my babies. The day some older punk was pushing my gal on the playground, before I could make it over to her and go all Mamma Bear, my boy jumped off the slide, ran over to the hoodlum, and yelled in his face “Don’t touch my sister!” Pretty rad.
  • Everyone always tell me I have “happy kids”-My response is usually, “lucky you! You just missed their epic tantrum.” Truthfully, my kids are really happy. Most days you can find a sweet smile on their face. And much like their mother, they’re always ready for a party (as long as you have chocolate milk and cake).
  • They have a really weird and hilarious sense of humor- My main man’s favorite joke is walking into the room announcing “Mommy, I can’t hear you. I’ve got a banana in my ear.” That one slays me and I purposely buy bananas every week just so he can tell that joke with a prop; the potassium is just an added bonus. And my gal tops every outfit with crazy sunglasses, a cowboy hat, furry boots, and a glittery tutu just to make the most mundane tasks, like eating breakfast, fabulous every day. These kids are strange little birds, and they are all mine!b7731824490ed79a61c8182658f311ee70df88b2

Friends, let me get all Oprah on you now.

Here’s what I know for sure: There is no one in this world who would do a better job of raising, loving, and caring for my son and my daughter. Just like there is no one that is a better Mom for your kids than you. So trust that and the choices you make over someone judging you for a position they are simply not qualified for.

Worry about yourself!

Filed Under: Laughs Tagged With: Amanda Mushro, funny parenting, motherhood, unhealthy attachment to kids

Mom Tested: Commercials That Will Make You Ugly Cry

May 6, 2013 by amushro

Having kids really wrecks you for life, and I’m not talking about the whole big head coming through the vagina incident. No, I am talking about something much more traumatic. Post children, I am unable to watch regular television without fear of bursting into hysterics over a lame TV commercial. Maybe it is a culmination of too many sleepless nights, or there are too many hormones still floating around after giving birth. Whatever the reason, there is no known cure. So grab the tissues and brace yourself for the tears. It’s about to get ugly cry up in here.

fuzzy-tv

1. The GE Sonogram Commercial

The song, her face, the baby’s face, and the awkward photo bomb from the dad at the end means I am not only sobbing right along with that new mom, but I am also begging my husband to impregnate me so I can relive this moment.

2. Verizon Mother’s Day Commercial

Dear Verizon, are you trying to kill me? Seriously, my heart exploded in my chest when I saw this one. A Mamma watching her boy grow up, push away her touch, and move away. Why don’t you just have the family dog get hit by a car, huh? It’s all too much. I can’t take it, but I am going to watch it again. Call me in a few hours to make sure I am OK.

3. P&G Thanks, Mom Olympic Commercial

Screw you, P&G. Screw you.

4. Target Acceptance Commercial

I don’t know why this one makes me so verklempt, but seeing these kids reactions to getting into college is amazing and consistently renders me a blubbering mess. I would try to take a stand and say I am boycotting Target for putting me in this predicament, but we all know, that is a load of crap.

5. Baby Driver by Subaru

Wait for it….wait for it…BOOM! She’s a teenager. Waahhhh! Someone find my kids, I need to weep into their little heads. And while you are at it, get me a freaking Subaru.

Tell me, what commercials make you cry?

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: commercials, humor, irony, Mother's Day, motherhood, P&G, Questionable Choices in Parenting, Subaru, Target, ugly cry, Verizon

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