Party of Five?

Is anyone else starting to feel like everyone is pregnant? Look around, everyone is pregnant. Everyone! Well, not me. I’m not pregnant, but I feel like everyone from my friends, to people on Facebook, to every celebrity now has a bun in the oven.

Seeing so many pregnant women can be dangerous for a girl like me. The reason why: I have a biological clock that is shouting “tick, tick tick, BOOM dynamite.”  Yes I have two healthy and beautiful children, and according to my mom, “You have a boy and a girl. That is all they come in!” But I can’t help but look at our dinner table and wonder if someone is missing?

When I was young and newly married, I wanted four kids. You may say I’m a dreamer; then reality (age, $$$, sanity) hit and I realized four is not in the cards for us.

I even visited a psychic a few months ago and asked if she saw more children in my future. The woman actually had the nerve to tell me yes and it would be twins! I have heard the urban legend about these mothers that wanted to add just one more kid to the mix and BOOM twins! Here is my PC mom statement: yes it would be a blessing, and here is reality: HOLY HELL! What would I do with twins in addition to Monkey and Mimi? Sign me up for the nuthouse right now. Anyone have a good psychic that can give me another reading? I feel like I need a second opinion. If the second psychic says she sees twins, then my uterus is headed into early retirement.

In spite of the psychic spewing her twin nonsense, I have turned to my friends for advice. Have you ever met a friend as an adult and knew instantly that if you were eight you would totally buy them a friendship bracelet? That is how I feel about my friend, Coco.  She is funny, brutally honest,talks me off of my crazy ledge when things get rough, and has changed my kids poopy diapers— that is a real friend.  She has also been my sounding board for the “should we have another baby” discussion.  A few months ago I felt like everywhere I looked someone was having another baby with a horrible disease or disfigurement. Then I read about Tori Spelling being on bed rest for months with her fourth pregnancy and all of the awful complications she had after the baby was born. I swore it was a sign from God that our clan was meant to be four and no more. So I begin my texting rant to Coco about why both of us should NEVER have a third and just stop at two.  It was descriptive and detailed. I pulled out every argument I could think of.  She is a lawyer so I felt like I needed to use big words to prove my case “amniocentesis” “Apgar Scoring System” “college tuition.” The next day, she told me she was pregnant. Insert foot into my big, stupid, overreacting mouth. Luckily, my beloved Coco said she wouldn’t judge me because she still questions if she is sane for having a third baby.

Ever the problem solver, I even created a pros/cons list.  I will not bore you with the contents of this list, and to be quite honest, some of the reasons to or not to have a third child are embarrassing, selfish, and you may think I am even crazier then you already suspected. However, ever the optimist, Coco told me “the fact that you’re even making a list means you’ve got one foot in the delivery stirrups.”

To be honest, I change my mind based on the day.

• If the kids are being good and one of them does something particularly sweet or adorable—it’s a three kid kind of day.
• If someone doesn’t nap, throws a temper tantrum or my husband works late—two kid day

The good thing is that at the ripe old age of 32 and ¾, I still have a lot of time to pop out another kid. Maybe we will have a third. I could see myself with a straggler. Someone to hang out with me once Monkey and Mimi leave me for elementary school sniff…sniff.  As my Coco would say “Love is multiplied and not divided,” and with that I will drink some more wine because I can and she can’t. Cheers!