Questionable Choices in Parenting

Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me

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Fashion Face Off in the Preschool Parking lot: Who Wore It Best?

March 31, 2014 by amushro

I imagine if you are a big, fancy star headed off to a red carpet event in your designer duds, one of the worst things that can happen to you is someone shows up with the same outfit! Gasp!

It’s probably even worse if that someone is a person you would NEVER, EVER run up to and sequel “Twinzies!”  Like if Gwyneth Paltrow found herself in the same dress as someone like Kim Kardashian. Can you imagine the serious “conscious uncoupling”  Gwyennie would have?

picture from Usweeklymagazine.com
picture from Usweeklymagazine.com

But Gwyneth, I know exactly how you must worry you won’t win the “Who Wore It Better”, but my fashion faux paus didn’t happen on the red carpet. Nope, mine happened somewhere a lot less chic but  probably has the same amount of tantrums.

Because spring brings lots and lots of rain showers, I often find myself looking like a drowned rat after a morning of school pickups and drop offs. So during my last trip to Target, I decided “Amanda, no more of this nonsense. Get yourself a hooded raincoat.”  And really, who am I to pass up a chance to do a little Target shopping?

But after searching the women’s section high and low, it was clear  the only raincoat Target thinks women need is some fashionable wrap coat without a hood. Hey, Target, now is not the time to get all fashion forward  and trendy on me. I even searched the men’s section–no luck. It wasn’t until I happened upon the little boys section that I found a raincoat that actually had a hood.

“Hmmmm, the colors are cute, blue and black, with a fun orange lining. Uh-huh, the price is right, under 20 bucks. Hey look at that, the large fits and is cute. OK, I toss it in the cart with the 45 other things I didn’t plan on purchasing today.”

jacket

I was really loving my new raincoat and wore it proudly. When I ran into my favorite gal pal at preschool drop-off I was thrilled when she chimed “I love that coat!”

“Targeé” I responded in my best French accent, “Got it in the little boys section. Can you stand it?”

With an extra bounce in my step, I put my hood up and sauntered out the door to my car. But right there in the parking lot is where I saw my coat rounding the corner and walking straight towards me. It wasn’t another mom wearing my favorite new coat. It wasn’t even another Dad. No friends, it was a little boy. A little boy that’s in my son’s class.

Blue and black raincoat with a fun orange lining. One large and one small staring each other down.

He broke first, “Hey Aaron’s Mommy, your coat looks like mine.”

“Yes…yes it does…”

I squinted and waited for the flashing light of the paparazzi’s camera. Oh wait, no one’s taking our picture and I’m pretty sure in this “Who Wore It Better” showdown, the vote always goes to the kid, right?

I should have been embarrassed or said something witty in response to the four year old mocking the fact we were coat doppelgangers, but then I realized by the end of the day one of us will probably have macaroni and cheese spilled down the front of that coat, a few Mickey Mouse stickers stuck right above our butt, and traces of today’s art project on the elbow, and that would probably be me.

Whatever kid, you enjoy your coat and I’ll enjoy mine. At least I know your mom has good taste.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Laughs, Uncategorized Tagged With: Amanda Mushro, Gwyneth Paltrow, hooded raincoat, Kim Kardashian, parenitng humor, Target

Mom Tested: Commercials That Will Make You Ugly Cry

May 6, 2013 by amushro

Having kids really wrecks you for life, and I’m not talking about the whole big head coming through the vagina incident. No, I am talking about something much more traumatic. Post children, I am unable to watch regular television without fear of bursting into hysterics over a lame TV commercial. Maybe it is a culmination of too many sleepless nights, or there are too many hormones still floating around after giving birth. Whatever the reason, there is no known cure. So grab the tissues and brace yourself for the tears. It’s about to get ugly cry up in here.

fuzzy-tv

1. The GE Sonogram Commercial

The song, her face, the baby’s face, and the awkward photo bomb from the dad at the end means I am not only sobbing right along with that new mom, but I am also begging my husband to impregnate me so I can relive this moment.

2. Verizon Mother’s Day Commercial

Dear Verizon, are you trying to kill me? Seriously, my heart exploded in my chest when I saw this one. A Mamma watching her boy grow up, push away her touch, and move away. Why don’t you just have the family dog get hit by a car, huh? It’s all too much. I can’t take it, but I am going to watch it again. Call me in a few hours to make sure I am OK.

3. P&G Thanks, Mom Olympic Commercial

Screw you, P&G. Screw you.

4. Target Acceptance Commercial

I don’t know why this one makes me so verklempt, but seeing these kids reactions to getting into college is amazing and consistently renders me a blubbering mess. I would try to take a stand and say I am boycotting Target for putting me in this predicament, but we all know, that is a load of crap.

5. Baby Driver by Subaru

Wait for it….wait for it…BOOM! She’s a teenager. Waahhhh! Someone find my kids, I need to weep into their little heads. And while you are at it, get me a freaking Subaru.

Tell me, what commercials make you cry?

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: commercials, humor, irony, Mother's Day, motherhood, P&G, Questionable Choices in Parenting, Subaru, Target, ugly cry, Verizon

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