Scary Mommy

I’m in Scary Mommy’s New Book and How We Can Do a Little Good for Thanksgiving!

October 21, 2014 by amushro 33 Comments

Long before I ever started this silly blog, I was a huge fan of Scary Mommy. I loved her writing, her sense of humor, she has super fantastic curly hair, and she’s even more fabulous in person. Every day she shares the best posts from other bloggers on her site, and not just any old post, ones that make you laugh out loud, some make cry, and others that really make you think.

I’ve been lucky enough to be featured on her site twice, and each time I count my lucky stars that I’ve been added to the long list of fabulous writers on her site. Now I can squeal with joy to tell you that Jill Smokler, the fabulous lady behind Scary Mommy, is putting out a new book and I’m going to be in it! Ahhhhh!!!

The e-book is going to be available November 17, but is available for pre-order right now. However, more than this being a hilarious book full of fantastic writers, a portion of the proceeds is going to The Scary Mommy Thanksgiving Project. That just makes buying this book even better!

Here’s more about the Thanksgiving Project and how you can help!

The Scary Mommy Thanksgiving Project began three years ago, with just a handful of families.

A handful of mothers who confessed not being able to afford Thanksgiving dinners and a handful of readers who volunteered to help them. Nobody was trying to save the world; we just wanted to be able to make a difference in one family’s life.

And then the magic happened.

More families came forward with their struggles and even more families pitched in to help, donating anywhere from a dollar to several hundred. Over four hundred families celebrated a Thanksgiving dinner they otherwise would have gone without and Scary Mommy Nation (now a 501(c)3 charity) was born.

Every day, Scary Mommy is proud to showcase a variety of viewpoints and perspectives from mothers everywhere. Underneath all of our differences – behind all of that which too often divides us – the wonder of a mother’s love for her children is universal. And what can be more instinctually maternal than wanting to be able to nurture and provide for your family?

That’s the simple beauty of the Thanksgiving Project. Our children– and our struggle for their well-being – is what connects this community. To date, more than 4,500 families have benefitted from the Thanksgiving Project. Last year alone, we received 2,765 applications and were able to fulfill each and every one. It’s time to do it all again.

thanks

Welcome to The 2014 Thanksgiving Project!

If you could use help with your Thanksgiving holiday, click here to apply. Applications will close 11/1.

If you are involved in blogging or social media, please help us spread the word.

If you have or know of a business who would like exposure and good karma, learn more here.

If you can afford to help a struggling family, please donate by clicking below. Fifty dollars buys an entire dinner – you can, of course, give less and be grouped with other donors, or give more and sponsor multiple families.

(You can also mail checks to: Scary Mommy Nation, PO Box 20866 Baltimore, MD 21209)

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On November 17 and just in time for the Holiday Season, Simon & Schuster will publish the Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays e-book. The best part? Part of the proceeds of the sale of the e-book will benefit Scary Mommy Nation and the Thanksgiving Project.

The second best part of the book? It contains the voices you know and love from this website, along with a few new ones.

Meet the contributors to Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving The Holidays:

Kim Bongiorno • Christine Burke • Abby Byrd • Andrea Condodemetraky • Sarah Cottrell • Janie Emaus • Victoria Fedden • Nancy Friedman • Anna Gebert • Deborah Goldstein • Alice Gomstyn • Sharon Green • Jessica Griffin • Maria Guido • Toni Hammer • Natalie Hoage • Harmony Hobbs • Amy Hunter • Julie Lay • Kathryn Leehane • Jennifer Lizza • Lola Lolita • Alessandra Macaluso • Leslie Marinelli • Hannah Mayer • Jessica Mayer • Amanda Mushro • Jennifer Weedon Palazzo • Tarja Parssinen •Robyn Passante • Crystal Ponti • Lily Read • Jennifer Scharf • Alisa Schindler • Tammy Scott • Jennifer Simon • Allison Slater Tate • Jill Smokler • Rita Templeton • Vicky Willenberg • Joelle Wisler • Megan Zander.

Pretty impressive line-up, huh?

At only $2.99, this e-book will be the best investment you make this season. Pre-order from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or iBooks and it will magically appear on your device on November 17. A perfect little holiday present… from you, to you.

Well Hey There. You New Around Here?

May 1, 2014 by amushro Leave a Comment

Well hey there, friend. Are you new around here? Did you wander on over after reading my post on Scary Mommy? Great, I like you already! We love new people over here at Questionable Choices in Parenting. Let me give you a quick tour:

I’m Amanda: Candy Land loser, Diet Coke addict, human tissue, yoga pants enthusiast, eyebrow over tweezer and even when I’m all dressed up and out at a Cher concert, I still find pacifiers in my pockets

My son who grosses me out daily with weird boy stuff

And my daughter who doesn’t take kindly to others trying to steal her thunder

And my husband who can fall asleep in less than three seconds no matter where he is. Really, it’s a gift…

So stop and stay awhile! I’ve put some of my recent funny posts on the first page so you can enjoy some of my crazy. If you like what you see, subscribe to my blog (just add your email address over there on the left), or find me on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, or Instagram

Also, if you live in the DC metro area, come and see me in the Listen to Your Mother Show this Sunday, May 5. If you come, I’ll give you a HUGE hug, but if that freaks you out I will settle for a fist bump.

My Scary Mommy Repost: All I Need to Know I Learned on 90210

July 1, 2013 by amushro 1 Comment

This weekend I had the opportunity to wine and dine with the super hilarious and sweet Jill Smokler, aka Scary Mommy. Since I already had a bloggy crush on her before, my crush has exploded 100% after this weekend. I may become a Scary Mommy groupie. Today I am reposting the piece she featured on her site when I was a brand new blogger in February. Not only is this my favorite piece, but Jason Priestly even retweeted this post on Twitter. So one post on Scary Mommy and a retweet from Brandon Walsh—-drops mic and walks off stage.

If you are a Beverly Hills 90210 fan, here are the very important life lessons you probably learned from hours of watching the best show ever!

I have been highlighting my hair since I was in seventh grade. I really couldn’t even tell you what my real hair color should be. Here is my best guess: If you head out to your local drug store and walk down the aisle with boxes of hair color, take a look at “Blahhh” or “Meh” that would be the best description of my natural color.

Since I have been cursed with such lackluster hair, I have been forced to shell out big money every few months to make sure I remain a bouncy blonde and not some crazy lady pretending that her six inches of dark roots is her attempt at ombre.

A young gal was highlighting my hair this week and she was over sharing stories of her “bad boy” and “womanizing” boyfriend. I patiently listened to her story, nodded periodically, and even gave the shocked “No!” every so often. When she finished the sordid details of her love life, I decided to pass down some sage wisdom from a slightly older, wiser, been-there-done-that-lady. Here is what I told her:

“Honey, you date the Dylan, but you marry the Brandon.”

I knew I was in trouble when she got this dumfounded look that screamed “What the hell are you talking about?” Then I got the “Who?”

Dylan McKay and Brandon Walsh? 90210? The real 90210. Only one of the greatest shows ever! Really? No idea who I am talking about?

First, I felt old. Then, I felt sad for the wayward young girl that didn’t have 90210 during her formative years to guide her along her journey to maturity. Then, I got to thinking about my own Monkey and Mimi and all of the conversations I will have with them in the future and I shudder at the thought. What if I just lock the kids in a room and force them to watch all ten seasons of my favorite show? When they are done, they can come out and we can discuss what they have learned. I am confident all of those difficult conversations will be addressed in each hour of 90210, and I will simply just need to reiterate some of the most important…

1. Don’t get drunk at prom and pass out in front of the principal. While I am sure you are charming, no one is going to stage a walkout and chant “Mimi graduates, Mimi graduates.”

2. Don’t wear the same dress to the spring formal as your best friend, don’t date the edgy new girl that takes drugs, don’t dress slutty at Halloween parties, don’t date the broken hottie that has mommy issues, and don’t lose your virginity at the spring formal you wore the same dress as your friend — for reasons other than you are wearing the same dress as your BFF — Didn’t you learn anything from Brenda’s pregnancy scare?

3. Just because your friends have bigger houses, amazing clothes, a bitchin car, tons of money, and the super, cool, fun mom that is sometimes in and out of rehab, the grass is not always greener and your friends probably wish they had a snarky, sarcastic Mom like yours that can make a mean pepperoni roll. Boom!

4. Drugs are bad. So are diet pills, cults, gambling, plagiarizing your college papers, cheating on your girlfriend with her BFF, cheating on your boyfriend with his BFF, cheating on your girlfriend with a lame music executive —OK, let’s just generalize that with cheating — it’s bad – all bad.

6. Violence against a woman is never OK, and if some guy pushes you down the stairs, he does not love you. While I do not condone violence, I would kick a guy’s ass if he ever laid a finger on my Mimi.
7. When faced with two options and neither feels right, always choose yourself. While she made lots of bad choices during the course of the show, Kelly got this one right—“I choose me!”

So there you go, seven very important lessons that cover all things I need my children to know as they grow up to be functioning members of society. Trust me, I dated the Dylans but married the Brandon. Man, this child rearing is easy!

My Questionable Attachment to My Kids Clothes

April 17, 2013 by amushro 1 Comment

I had one job. One little job, and I couldn’t do it. Given the task by Hubby, all I needed to do was take the bins full of the clothes the kids have outgrown and move them to Space Bags. I left Hubby in charge of the kids and headed upstairs to start packing; however, a few minutes into digging in those bins and this is how he found me……

No I am not napping, although I had my perfect excuse to sneak away and nap. No, friends, no resting over here. This is me weeping into their baby clothes.

My entire life I’ve been looking two steps ahead for the next big thing to plan and get ready for. Take the slave-driver that put me in this awful clothes-induced mess. Once I knew he was “the one,” I was sending him engagement rings pictures signed from the dog (hilarious). Once I got the ring, it was non-stop wedding planning. You have no idea how happy I am that the time sucking vortex Pinterest did not exist back then. I may not have made it out of wedding planning with a husband to wed. No time for the honeymoon phase here, once the wedding was over, I was in full on baby making mode. But when those sweet babes arrived and introduced me to sleepless nights and stretch marks, I wanted to slam on the brakes, stop time, and enjoy their little lives without rushing through.

Am I being a bit over dramatic, perhaps. Am I too emotional, yup. Have I become an emotions tramp just giving out my affections to everyone? Just give me a “hello my name is…” sticker.

Hubby was being completely unrealistic and tried to pry the clothes out of my hands. After he suggested we just get rid of everything for the tenth time, I decided to let go of the vice gripe I had on his man parts when he saw the error of his ways and simply walked away from the crazy lady. He forced me to finish the job, but not before I pulled out a few of my favs to stash them away.

I love this coat. I love everything about this orange, puffy jacket that Monkey wore when he was one. I rescued it from the piles of clothes because I can’t bear to put it back in the attic. I have plans for this little coat, you see. When he leaves me for college, I will wrap this coat around a pillow and cry myself to sleep in this coat. You may think this is a bit much, but I think it is a sign of a good mom when you can admit this sort of ~~obsession~~ ~~unhealthy attachment~~ love.

When I made my way over to the bins that were overflowing with pink, ruffles and tutus, I knew there was one gem I needed to find. One of the first things I bought when I found out I washaving a girl was this itsy, bitsy bikini. Mimi wore it on her first few trips to the beach. Here she is at only three weeks old napping and rocking that bikini.

I just want to squeeze that tiny newborn and sniff her sweet head. Her second birthday is coming up fast (sniff…sniff), and I want to slow down this little lady from getting too big too fast. I love this bikini and I love this picture. When she is a teenager and says awful, terrible things to me and rolls her eyes 937 times a day, I will snuggle this bikini and remember the sweet babe that adored me and refused to be held by anyone else….then I will drink…heavily because I don’t think I can handle a teenage daughter. A revealing bikini on a newborn is adorable and makes me teary to see. However, a too revealing bikini on a teenage Mimi will send me into a fit and I will be forced to drag her sweet ass off the beach by her ponytail.

Now it’s your turn! Tell me what you have kept of your kids that makes you an emotions tramp.

Don’t forget to enter in my giveaways! I have two going on right now!

The first is a Family Photography Session from Rosic Photography

a Rafflecopter giveaway and the second is for a signed copy of Scary Mommy, Jill Smokler’s new book!

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Guest Blogger and a Scary Mommy Giveaway!

April 13, 2013 by amushro 4 Comments

Oh, hello! I should probably have a huge “Under Construction” sign hanging on this site because it is a bit of a mess. But no need to worry, friends! In a few weeks the whole blog will have a new and fabulous look! Until then, don’t judge the mess and I won’t judge those dirty dishes in your sink, deal?

Since we are moving in a few weeks, I have broken down and started the dreaded task of packing. We still haven’t found a new house (anyone got room in their basement…no really, anyone?), but I am already up to my eyeballs with packing boxes, bubble wrap, and lots of great memories of this home. Let’s just say, Mamma likes her wine this week. When I hit a bit of a rough patch, I knew my BBB (Best Blogger Buddy) Stephanie from When Crazy Meets Exhaustion would understand and talk me off my ledge. Today she is sharing a bit of her crazy and joining me for a great giveaway!

When Crazy Meets Exhaustion

When I received a text message pic of Amanda sobbing into a bin of her kids’ baby clothes, I didn’t judge. I wasn’t all, “Damn, girl, get a hold of yourself.” Instead I was all, “WAAAAAA!” right along with her. Why? Because we crazy. And chances are, if you have little ones of your own, you are, too. And when Amanda asked me to share my nutjob insanity emotional attachment to some kid-related thangs, I actually had a hard time choosing just one. Below is a list of the things my kids do that leave me with tear stained cheeks, and with them frightened to come near me for a half hour or so:

Channeling Elmo: My daughter is turning two in less than a month (I know, right?!) and I fear that she will soon forgo referring to herself in the third person. I friggin’ love hearing “Ella help;” “Ella do,” “Ella like” coming from her sweet mouth.

Speech impediments: Piggybacking off of the grammatically incorrect ways of Elmo, I can’t get enough of my kids’ mispronunciations of words and phrases. Oh, the joy! My 3.5 year-old son says “un-cumfit-bul” when he’s trying to say “uncomfortable” and it makes my heart so happy. My nosy gal is always saying, “Mommy doo-nin?” (Mommy, what are you doing?) or “Pick up me!” when she wants to be held. The day they lose these impediments, I will die a little inside.

Mastery: Mastery of feeding themselves, coloring in the lines, opening the refrigerator to get me a cold beer their milk cups—it’s just too much! Full disclosure for parents who are currently potty training their kiddos: in theory, we want them to tinkle and poo in the toilet. However, the day they are self-reliant enough to do so, you will feel a twinge of sadness because that is one more way they don’t need you. (It’ll be okay, I promise. I’m hugging you now, do you feel it?)

Affection: It won’t be long. No, friends, the day is drawing ever closer. The day when the boy won’t hug me in public; the day the girl stops throwing herself into my arms either forgetting or despite the fact that she’s mad at me for saying No. Hugs and kisses on the lips will be replaced with ruffles of the hair and macho fist-bumps. My tears will be replaced with vodka, but that’s a post for another day.

I can’t be the only one, right? I mean, if Amanda is boo-hooing into clothes, and I’m all kinds of crazy over speech impediments, there must be more of us, yes? So, tell me, Mamas and Papas, what bit of adorableness makes you cuckoo for your kiddos?

This week our favorite blogger Jill Smokler, the hilarious lady behind ScaryMommy.com, published her second book Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies). Jill’s writing is so funny and so honest, we know you will laugh out loud just like we did. So we are teaming up to give four of our readers copies of the new book signed by Jill! Fancy, right? So click the link and enter for your chance to win!

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Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies)