This is Mimi:
And this is Mimi in timeout:
At the ripe old age of twenty months, we have decided that if this rule breaker is old enough to swim in the dog’s water fourteen times after being told to knock it off and if she continues to go all Picasso on the walls with crayons, she is old enough for timeout.
As you can see from the picture, timeouts are a bit trying….for all of us. However, I will continue to put her cute butt in timeout when she misbehaves and throws epic temper tantrums. In order to pass the time while she is being defiant and living up to her name of Screaming Mimi, I will not contemplate selling her on Craigslist. No friends, I will think about the future.
If this was a movie, the screen would get all blurry and wavy so that you know we are jumping to the future.
I imagine Mimi and I strolling through The American Girl store while laughing and holding hands as we select overpriced doll accessories that she MUST have.
Now she is headed off to her first day of kindergarten and I am weeping into a hankie (must remember to purchase a hankie for that day). She turns before she steps on the bus, her pigtails swinging in the sun, and says “Don’t worry Mommy, I love you and will be home soon.”
Jump ahead a few more years and we are dress shopping for her prom. Notice how she picks out a totally age appropriate dress. Isn’t she lovely?
Oh look, we are planning her wedding to the man of her dreams. That sweet girl let’s her mother go crazy and choose the flowers and the meal because, after all, mother knows best and her mother-in-law pales in comparison.
Oh yes, Mimi has a family of her own. She looks tired and weary. It looks like she is ready to cry, but she stops herself and calls me to say, “Wow Mom! I just don’t know how you did it. You were the most amazing mother ever.”
Now jump years and years into the future and my sweet girl is taking her dear old Mom to Atlantic City. See how she carefully pushes my wheelchair up to the slot machines. What a good girl!
What is this? Oh that sweet girl is taking care of her mom in a nursing home by following her mother’s step-by-step instructions of making sure I always have a fresh manicure, my upper lip is always waxed, and she plucks those few errand hairs on my chin. That darling Mimi knows her brother would never do these things and we shook hands years ago that she would keep me looking good.
Aaaaand the temper tantrum is over! Breathe in and out. We have survived yet another timeout episode and we are all better for it. That nice flash into the future should help us get through the day or last until the next time out.
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The Wheelchair to the slot machines created such a beautiful image that I found myself tearing up a bit 😉 I’m actually finished a post about why God gave me a daughter and among plucking stray chin hairs is the promise that she will one day change my diapers. Ahhh love.
Only a daughter will pluck our chin hairs and change our diapers. Yes, they are a gift from God—in that respect 🙂
I’m sad that nowhere in your fast forward to the future was the unveiling of Mommy’s porn collection to daughter 🙁 I pictured it going something like Al Bundy passing his Biggins mags on to Bud…and did you photoshop your daughter’s face onto my temper tantrum a few months back when Mcdonald’s told me there was only ONE level of supersizing!? Very sneaky…
*Dying* The Al Bundy reference is amazing. Must use that in a future blog! You win the award for my favorite comment ever!
Hilarious!
Wow, you’re a good mom. When my kids were losing their ever-loving heads my mother used to tell me to go into the yard with ear buds and listen to music for 5-10 minutes. She swore nothing would happen to them and it would save me from either 1. Lettign them out before they should be 2. Saying or doing something I’d regret.
She is a wise lady, my mom;)
Your images are much cuter than the image of my lying on the lounger smashing ear buds in my ears to drown out the noise and praying the neighbors didn’t see me out here and call CPS for neglecting my kid.
Vicky
http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com
Vicky,
When my kids are older I will try that because these kids (and our constant trips to time out) are really wearing me down. Your mom is a wise lady!
and a great real estate agent;) heehee
The problem comes when they get older and realize they don’t have to do time-outs, because parents stop becoming these mighty creatures looming above them in size, intellect and power. I have a 13 year old (who never really needed punishing, which worried me AT THE TIME). But I also have three nine-year-olds and they are all coming into a stage of “Hey, I can do what I want instead of what she says.” Now I take away from their hour-a-day of computer time; so they throw a tantrum (in their room) until one of us breaks. Fun!! 😀 Enjoy the first decade, also your little girl is adorable.