*OK, so this post is an ode to my Pops for Father’s Day. I know I am a few days late, but I’ve been super busy and this post is super funny, so keep reading!*
My Dad is a real pain the ass. He assumes his opinions are always right, his potty mouth would make a trucker blush, he is crabbier than my kids if he doesn’t stick to his schedule and misses his nap, and he is in better shape than most twenty year olds. So freaking annoying.
However, he is a gem of a man who has come to my rescue more times than I can count. He loves my kids in such a beautiful way that it melts my little black heart. Around every turn of my life when I have been afraid, he reminds me to be brave. And he has taught me some of the most simple but profound lessons in life.
Now in all honesty, a lot of this magical advice was plagiarized from my grandfather, and if I had to guess, taken from his father, but it doesn’t matter because I fully intend on stealing these morsels of knowledge and sharing them with my own bambinos.
- People are stupid—this little tidbit is the gift that keeps on giving. Sure it seems a bit harsh, but I can’t tell you how many times a day I recite this line over and over. Watch the nightly news: people are stupid. Read asinine status updates on Facebook: people are stupid. Keyboard politicians: People are stupid. Naming your baby North: people are stupid.
- Are they paying your bills? Then why are you worrying about them? I shutter at the thought of being a dad to an emotional basket case teenage girl. I was a freaking hormonal nightmare and cried All. The. Time. During any falling out with a friend, non-friend, or lame-o boyfriend, my dad would lay it on the line and ask:
Dad: Are they paying your bills?
Me: What? No? (insert whiny voice and a few extra tears, OK a lot of tears)
Dad: Then why are you worrying about them?
Me: Because I …(insert lame teenage response) You don’t know what you are talking about.*Storms off to pout in bedroom*
Ok, So it wasn’t the most well received piece of advice as a teen, but with most life lessons, it was lost on youth but invaluable to me today. It takes a lot to get my panties in a bunch, and if they do, I ask myself those questions. Usually if that doesn’t work, I refer to #1
3. Do the right thing- So simple and so true. It’s sorta like my Daddy-O is as enlightened as Dori and her “just keep swimming” line. The next time you find yourself at a crossroad in life, just do the right thing. Makes your decision a lot easier.
There is all sorts of research on the lasting effects a dad has on his daughter’s relationships throughout life and her sense of self-worth. That’s a lot of pressure for Dear Old Dad.! Clearly the big guy did a few things right (even if he failed at teaching me to parallel park). But here is the best part of having an awesome dad, watching him be an amazing grandfather to your kids. Do the right thing? I think so.
YAY FOR DADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is hilarious! “Do they pay your bills?!” I love his realistic approach to people, too; they ARE stupid. A person, not so much. PEOPLE? Idiots.
You forgot about the part where he gets really angry and morphs into a cursing Armenian. 😉
Happy belated Daddy’s Day to your Papa!!!
Yay for Dad is right. Even when your crap daughter doesn’t get the Father’s Day post up in time!
My grandfather used to ask a similar question, “Are they signing your paycheck?” Same philosophy, same frustration when I was younger, same appreciation now. Great post!
Love it! Your grandfather sounds like a smart guy!
I may work, “Are they paying your bills” into heavy rotation. It will give my boys a nice break from all the movie quotes.
Sweet post.
I may work, “Are they paying your bills” into heavy advice rotation. It will give the boys a break from all the movie quotes and superhero references.
Sweet post.
YES!! It annoyed the crap out of me when I was a kid but I say it to myself every day! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Yes. People are stupid. Very. It makes me wonder how they function on a daily basis. And, are they paying your bills – perfect. I’ll have to employ that theory! You are lucky to have such a terrific man and role model in your life. This is a great tribute to him!
I am a lucky gal, Tracy! He is pretty awesome!
Hehehe this was funny! Great post!
I am sure my dad spent most of my teen years rolling his eyes behind my back 🙂
PS
Love the new site design!
People ARE stupid. That’s for sure! He’s a wise man … additional evidence provided by the Steelers garb 🙂
btw, LOVE the site … Andrea did nice work!! 🙂
Your dad sounds awesome! I love the little tidbits that seem so simple but really are so profound in life, ya know?We think the answers have to be so fluffy and full of big thoughts. But they really are simple- people are stupid and since they aren’t paying your bills, quit worrying about them and do the right thing, damn it! This was great.
Vicky
http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com