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Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me

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Keep it together, Mom. Keep it together.

September 11, 2013 by amushro

By now you know that I’m pretty useless during natural disasters (dam earthquakes) and fortunately for my kids and my nerves, we have only had minor boo boos and just a few trips to the local ER. Why did I even write that? Quick, someone knock on wood!  But we haven’t been so lucky in the teeth department because even though he has the sweetest smile, my little man has a mouth full of cavities.

Because he is only four and he went bananas on the lady that attempted to take x-rays of  his mouth, the dentist recommended that we bang out all of his dental issues while he is in the hospital under careful sedation. And, I’m crying again…

Keep it together

Of course there are millions of scenarios that could be so much worse, dangerous and life threatening, but really it’s all about perspective and what you are going through in that minute. While I am thanking my lucky stars that this is not very serious, I’m still super freaked out and have every intention of losing my shit the minute my kid has been sedated.

At his pre-op appointment with the pediatrician, I asked the nurse to stop calling it “surgery” because my heart can’t take it. When the Doc asked me if I needed anything else, my reply of “how about a couple of Valium?” fell flat on my none-too-impressed audience. I mean dang, I was just kidding (no I wasn’t).

My panic over this procedure has me pulling out the big guns, and I headed off to church to light every candle I could get my hands on. I think I learned in CCD class that candle lighting is the fastest way to get your intentions heard, right? I left the kids at home because I thought it was best to not to have evil  feelings of snatching your kids up by their armpit because they are misbehaving in church while laying the prayers on thick. When a little old lady walked by the candles I felt like the mean kids on the bus on Forrest Gump, but I was saying “candles taken.”

My boy is precious cargo and I’m not one that holds in my tears well. The dentist said only one parent can go back with him while he is being sedated and it needs to be the strongest parent. Hubby nodded and said “Guess I will be going in with him.”

Ummmm, acca-scuse me?

No, no you will not go back with him. I’m his mother. I’m the one that birthed him. I’m the one that will be with him while he’s sedated.

When he’s scared, it’s me he wants.

When he’s sick, it’s me he wants.

Am I going to hold it together during most of this process.  No, but I promise to only cry in the bathroom where he can’t see me.

Will I threaten to maim the dentist, dental assistant, and the anesthesiologist if my boy isn’t 100%? Yes, yes I will.

Will I drink the largest bottle of wine when this thing is all over? Yes, are you buying?

So on Friday send some positive thoughts my little man’s way, will ya? And if you have any extra Valium hanging around your house, send it my way. I kid, I kid (no I’m not).

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Comments

  1. Missy Homemaker says

    September 11, 2013 at 8:34 am

    I can tell you that we’ve had our share of little things-two boys getting tonsils out (I actually found them becoming sedated hilarious…high 5 year olds. Who knew?) but the minute they wheeled each of my babies out of their room, I bawled. Before that though, there were the heart issues (each had a heart murmur that had to be investigated) and the cancer scare (enlarged lymph nodes all over his body which it turned out was caused by the tonsils), and afterwards there was a ‘wrinkled’ bone that had to be casted, a smack in they eye socket with a metal ball bat, another heart scare…
    Kids are fun times.
    And I would have told them I wanted that valium…stat.

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:13 pm

      Ha! I swear I don’t have the heart for these kids and their hospital visits. However, it will be pretty funny to see him all hopped up on the “before surgery juice” Now someone pass me some drugs!

  2. Jen @ Real Life Parenting says

    September 11, 2013 at 8:42 am

    Yes. Yes, I am buying the wine. I’ll bring multiple bottles. You know, just in case we’re extra thirsty trying to replenish all the fluids lost via tear duct. Good luck on Friday–to both of you!!! xoxo

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:14 pm

      Thanks, Mamma!! xoxo

  3. whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

    September 11, 2013 at 8:45 am

    “Candles taken.” Tee hee 🙂

    I’ll definitely keep you guys in my prayers this Friday. I had no idea this shizz was happening so soon!!! Oh, Mama 🙁 Everything will be just fine and you’ll be exhaling in no time. And YES, I’m buying!!!! xo

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:14 pm

      Thank you! I already have chest pains. I just want to fast forward to tomorrow night. Thanks for the booze and love xoxo

  4. Julie says

    September 11, 2013 at 9:57 am

    Oh, mama. I feel ya. My second daughter, at a mere 3 years old, had to have a test done on her bladder for reflux because she had one stinkin’ UTI from hell. I was pregnant and couldn’t go back with her (there’s radiology stuff involved, along with catheterization, ugh). I was a blubbering mess the entire time (she never saw any of that), even though my Mister was with us and went into the xray room with her. I could hear her screaming from the xray room, but it wasn’t because they were doing anything to her – she was just scared and wanted me. You’d think she’d had open-heart surgery. I was sitting out in the hallway just beside myself – and no, I couldn’t drown my sorrows later with booze, although I sure wanted to.

    All turned out well, she didn’t have reflux after all, and she has zero memory of it (she’s 7 now).

    If I had a Texas-sized Xanax or bottle of wine I would send it! But I will send prayers and virtual hugs to you. Your sweet boy will be fine 🙂 You’ve got this!

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:15 pm

      Thank you, Julie!! I know it could be so much worse but I am still a mess waiting for this to be over. Being a mom is hard. Texas-sized Xanax sounds like a plan~ xoxo

  5. Joelen says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:22 am

    As parents we tend to do worse than the kids when it comes to procedures. We worry about how our child will react, and most of the time they do awesome while we are crying and shaking for them. He (and you) will be fine. Sending good vibes your and his way! This too shall pass!

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:16 pm

      Yes! The doctors keep telling me it will be worse on me. Thank you for the kind words and good vibes!!

  6. Allyson Bossie says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:26 am

    Nothing is worse than when something is wrong with our little ones or when they need a procedure done. I would rather my arm be cut off with no pain meds than watch them suffer, sigh

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:17 pm

      You’ve got it! Nope, nothing 🙁 Gotta get my game face on for him. Thanks for the kind words!

  7. Brynn @ MommyDigger.com says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:44 am

    I will be thinking and praying for you on Friday, I’m sure it will all go smooth. There is nothing worse than watching your child go thru any procedure. When my first born was still a baby she had to have a CT scan and they had to sedate her, it was heart wrenching and they had to poke her 12 times trying to get the IV in.

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:18 pm

      Oh my! Poor baby! Thank you thinking of my guy!!

  8. Brenda Farris says

    September 11, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    We stopped into a new dentist once, and they tried to keep me from going back with my kids. I said I am coming with her, or we are going somewhere else. I can’t believe when dentists have that policy!

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:18 pm

      You’ve got it! This Mamma is coming in!

  9. Farrah says

    September 11, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    So sorry for all of the stress you’re going through. I’ll be praying for your family!

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm

      Thank you!!!

  10. Alaina Bullock says

    September 11, 2013 at 1:54 pm

    Lots of prayers for Friday! It will be fine! I’ll go in on a bottle of wine for you! Hang in there, mom!

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm

      Thank you!!!

  11. Tracy@CrazyAsNormal says

    September 11, 2013 at 2:39 pm

    Xanax is in the mail. 😉

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm

      You are the best!

  12. reesa lewandowski says

    September 11, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    SO scary anytime things are out of our control with our little ones! I’m sorry you guys have to go through this! I hope everything goes smooth & easy for you both!

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm

      Thank you for thinking of us!

  13. Elisebet F says

    September 11, 2013 at 10:51 pm

    Awwe… My son hasn’t been to the dentist yet, but I’m sure I’ll be nervous for him when he does. I don’t even like going to the dentist!

    • amushro says

      September 12, 2013 at 9:19 pm

      Same here!! Imagine how scary it is for them!

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