Friends, a few weeks ago we hit a very critical point in the year. Are you familiar with this:
I call this look “It’s barely spring and you need to wear pants for a few more weeks. So where are the higher socks?” Or maybe you know this style as as “Sweet Baby Jesus, kid! I wasn’t aware that surviving on mac and cheese and chocolate milk alone could make you have such long legs?”
Even though I swore that come hell or high waters I would NOT buy new pants that would only be worn for a few weeks before my kid breaks out his summer uniform, shorts and muscle shirt–yes, muscle shirts, the man is a firm believer in sun’s out, gun’s out–
I found myself hitting up the sale racks in search of pants of appropriate length; however, my main man has some specific requirements when it comes to pants. And friends, it’s getting a little tricky because all pants that enter his closet MUST meet the following description:
1. Pants with the color orange will be given preference before all others.
2. If it says “skinny leg” or has a more trendy name like like “rockstar” or “preppy,” it’s still a skinny leg and you need to walk away, Mom. Walk away.
3. And the most important rule: All pants purchased must be “comfy pants” i.e. pants without buttons, zippers, snaps, or clasps.
So at this point we are anti-jeans at all costs and have a closet full of active pants or basketball pants or lacrosse pants or whatever they name pants that don’t contain buttons or zippers.
On the particular chance that we have an event or a holiday that requires my boy to wear real pants, I approach my son with caution and a long list of reasons why real pants are the way to go. Negotiations ensure and they tend to be long winded and often end in tears and bribery. Usually I cave and allow corduroy or khakis.
But sometimes, friends I win these arguments and I have brief glimpses of the stylish dude I know is hiding behind those swishy, athletic pants. Seriously, his pants are so noisy I can always hear him sneaking up on me.
Sometimes when I get him all dress up I even get hilarious pictures like this! I call this picture “My mom made me wear pants”
Really I should be more understanding. After all, I spend most of my days in yoga pants and get a little grumpy when I have to wear real pants with buttons and zippers too. Apparently he gets his style trends from his Mama.
So point me in the direction of “comfy pants,” please. I’ve got a man with long legs and ankles that need to be covered for a few more weeks.