Who do I speak to about adding an extra week to the month of December? Seriously, let’s just take the oddball months with 31 days and tell them they are good to go with just 30 days each year. We could even borrow a few from February. It’s already shorter and probably wouldn’t mind sparing a few more days if it meant we could all slllloooowwww things down during the holiday season.

I’m sorta like Buddy the Elf because Christmas is my favorite holiday and I love, love, love everything that goes along with this magical time of year. I really don’t mind when stores play Christmas music before Thanksgiving, and I do a little Christmas jig when I see lights and ornaments on sale the same time as Halloween candy. It’s just that I need to start marathon training for the actual month of December. I’ve been shopping since October, the tree has been up since November, and the multiple holiday parties have been going on all December. I will even let you in on a secret, I start planning my Christmas card in August. I mean, it doesn’t go out until the week before Christmas because that would take planning in June, but I start the hunt when we are still putting our toes in the summer sand.

Even though Hanukkah is a celebration that lasts “eight crazy nights,” it seems like our Christmas is lasting just as long.

By the time we celebrate with my husband’s family, then start the trek three hours to celebrate with my family, fit in a few visits with other family and friends, it’s time to watch Ryan Secreast countdown to New Years. Oh wait, did I forget about Santa? Well lucky for us, Monkey and Mimi are so young they have no idea when Santa is supposed to slide down the chimney. So this year, the big guy is coming on Saturday so we can pace them with endless toys, wrapping paper, and stocking stuffers.  Eight crazy nights, yeah we got this!

In order for this all to work, some things have to go. Here is my Christmas blow off list. Feel free to add your own:

1. Homemade cookies. Sorry Martha Stewart, if we were supposed to slave away in the kitchen for hours, God wouldn’t have made Pillsbury slice and bake. Add a few M&Ms and pretzels and boom—reindeer cookies!
2. The creepy Elf on the Shelf. So you’re telling me I have to commit to placing this  little dude throughout my house for a month? You do realize my kids will still act up and I will be stuck trying to find new and funny places to put this guy?  Try this site out instead http://www.portablenorthpole.com/home. You make a free, personalized video where Santa calls your kid by name, age, and where they live. You can even pick if your little elf was naughty or nice this year. Monkey was scared straight after the first view of his video. His face was a mixture of terrified and amazed—a parent’s dream.
3. The painful  Santa picture. I am NOT forcing my kids to sit on Santa’s lap just so I can have an overpriced picture to document this occasion.We went, we waited in line, and waited, and waited. Monkey waved to Santa and after a while he said he didn’t want to talk to Santa and wanted to ride the train instead. Sounds good to me because I am sure both kids would have lost it the minute it was their turn. Later, creepy mall Santa. Maybe we will try again next year…maybe not.
4. Pinterest holiday crafts.  I may pin and pin until my fingers go numb, but I am not feeling bad about abandoning the clay handprint Santa and the toilet paper roll reindeer. I pay good money for Monkey to go to preschool. His teachers can get all crafty there. I will however continue to pin cocktails and enjoy them this holiday season.

So Fa-la-la-la-la there it is; I highly recommend you create a list as well. You can do it (you just read that in Rob Schneider’s voice from Waterboy, right?) Now I really have to go. I have a half a dozen Christmas movies I still haven’t watched!