If youth is wasted on the young, then the baby registry is wasted on those without kids. Even if you take the advice of all of your Mommy friends and anyone that adds their two cents, you will get trigger happy when you hit that baby store and end up with some nonsense like this:

When my lovely pregnant buddy Chief asked for baby registry suggestions, I thought I had this easy task in the bag. But it has been a few years since I had the registry gun in hand and took a whirl around the baby store. I started to feel like Will Ferrell in Old School when he gets nervous that he missing out on something new and cool. Of course he was talking about panties and I am talking about baby gear, but I feel his anxiety:

So I thought the easiest thing I could do for my lovely Chief was to tell her what NOT to register for. You need a ton of crap when you have a baby but here are things you don’t need:

The Duckymeter– Yes you will need a rubber ducky for your sweet baby to play with while splashing in the tub; however, you most certainly do not need a duck that tells you the water temperature. You know why? Put your dam hand in the water. Is it too hot? Don’t put your kid in. Is it too cold? Don’t put your kid in. Amazing right! Think of this as “upcycling.”

 

The wipewarmer– Now who among us wouldn’t want a warm cloth to wipe our tush? Being a baby is hard and all of that pooping and peeing is exhausting. Sit back, relax, and let the wipewarmer produce a warm cloth to ease your worries. OR let the warm, dark, and moist wipewarmer create tons of bacteria that you are about to wipe against your sweet baby’s behind.  Gross right? *shudders*  Not to mention that the stupid wipewarmer takes more time and care then your newborn with all of the adding water, flipping and changing the pad—forget it!  Sorry kid, regular wipes will have to do around here.

 

Too many strollers– I wish someone had told me to cool it on the stroller purchases because I currently own four strollers. First I had the “Snap and Go” that I could put the kid’s infant carrier in, then I had the regular umbrella stroller for trips to the mall and shopping, don’t forget to throw in a jogging stroller for workouts, and finally a HUGE double stroller once the other kid made an appearance. Our attic looks like the place strollers go to die. If my pregnant readers take nothing else away from this article, take this little nugget—find ONE stroller for all stages of your kid’s life and skip the multiple strollers purchase!

Well with these three things off her list, now she just has to register for the 483,290,202 other items her sweet baby boy will need in a few months. So help me help Chief! What things does she need to leave off the registry list?