Questionable Choices in Parenting

Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me

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Confessions of a Mommy & Her Tramp Stamp

May 2, 2013 by amushro

Confession time: I LOVE celebrity gossip magazines and websites. It’s a dirty habit that I’ve come by honestly from snuggling on the couch with my grandmother and reading  Star Magazine cover to cover. Some grandmothers bake cookies and knit, my awesome Gram made sure I was in touch with all the celeb happenings

One of my favorite parts of gossip magazines is the “Stars are Just Like Us” section because I really do feel better about myself seeing Reese Witherspoon carry her own groceries or Bradley Copper pump his own gas. So imagine my excitement when I realized that Nicole Richie and I are more alike than I could ever imagine. All from this little tweet:

Nicole

You probably guessed my second confession. I am the shameful owner of tramp stamp. What seemed edgy, cool, and “deep” when I was 19, now just seems misguided, uninspired, and lame at 33.

Tattoos can be really beautiful and an outlet for self-expression and identity; however, my lame-o tattoo is neither of those things. Everyone else had one in college and I wanted one too. Oh, I thought it was so “deep” and meaningful, but years later, I would give anything to have the space above my coin slot not covered in ink.

Confessions

What is this uninspired ink you may ask? Well, what happens when your birthday falls on the cusps? One of two things: You can read both horoscopes for the day and pick the better of the two, or you can permanently mar your skin with a mixture of an Aquarius and a Pieces sign.  So deep…

I hid the tattoo from my parents for months, but when bathing suit season came along, there was no hiding my new artwork. If looks could kill, I would have been dead from my Dad’s death stare (shudders). It only worsened when he and I were watching Wedding Crashers and Vince Vaughn totally threw me under the bus with this line:

“Tattoo on the lower back… might as well be a bullseye.”

Awesome. Just what every dad wants to hear.

My mom took it even worse. She was horrified by the tattoo and screamed “Someday you will have kids and they will want a tattoo. And what are you going to say? Huh? You won’t be able to say anything because you have a trashy tattoo.”

Dam her! She was right.

The idea of my babies permanently marking their perfect skin with anything makes me die a little. I made those kids and their skin. Surely there should be a law that you need your mother’s permission before you are allowed to ruin the skin she crafted, no matter how old you are! I can only hope there is something less permanent in the future that kids think is cool like a sticker or non-permanent hair dye. Wishful thinking, I know.

Our new house is across the street from the neighborhood pool and since my kids are part fish, I expect to be splashing around in that pool all summer and many summers to come. I can only hope that there are a few other moms and dads in my new hood that carry shameful tats. Maybe a few tribal bands, an ancient Chinese symbol for patience that really means fried rice, or even a few Greek letters from their glory days.  We can nod our heads in solidarity of our bad choices. We were wild and crazy once and we have the ink to prove it! Now we are dragging our kids kicking and screaming to the kiddie pool during adult swim.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Amanda Mushro, coin slot, college, confessions, humor, inked, irony, Nicole Richie, parenting, pool, Questionable Choices in Parenting, Star Magazine, tattoo removal, tramp stamp, tribal bands, Wedding Crashers

Questionable Choices in Parenting Pictures

April 11, 2013 by amushro

Questionable Choices in Parenting  day………………….ehhh, who the hell knows. My newest submission is this photograph. Here’s a quick game, let’s see how many things you can spot in this picture that are off just a tad and make you question my parenting skills.

pic

Where oh where should we start? Well, for one, this is my kid playing outside in her pajamas. Yes, I let my kid walk around the neighborhood in her jammies. At least she has shoes on and the jammies match. I call this a success.

Did you notice that she is wearing Santa jammies? Yup, too small Santa jammies, I might add. They were snug a few weeks ago, but here we are, in April, still sporting our December jammies.

And the crème de la crème, the bees knees, the cat’s (or Santa in this case) pajamas, the cutest little carpenter crack I have ever seen. Those too small jammies and her super heavy diaper that needed changed before she strutted through the neighborhood are weighing her down and exposing her assets.

I know photographers like to share their secrets and equipment. Well I used my fancy iPhone camera and snapped this pic while I lie on my back and let Monkey chalk an outline of my exhausted body. It would seem my need to take a nap and camera phone would put me at the perfect angle to catch this chalking crack.

Hmmmm… Maybe this baby butt crack just inspired a new section for my blog. Pictures of my Questionable Choices in Parenting not pictures of coin slots.  Gross

Listen, I don’t know the first thing about photography, but I know a talented gal that does!

For my readers in Uniontown, PA and Morgantown, WV!  The super talent Melissa Rosic is generously giving one lucky reader a Family Portrait session!

Enter to win a Family Portrait Session from Rosic Photography! The session will include one 60 min session and 10 image file downloads with print release!  Session must be held during the month of June in the Uniontown or Morgantown Area. Regular Family Portrait Sessions details apply and can be found on her website.www.mrosicphotography.wix.com/lifestyle

Click the link below to enter! Lots of chances to enter! Share this with your friends!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: carpenter crack, coin slot, giveaway, humor, pajamas, parenting

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