preschool

Do You Know Your School Kid?

January 21, 2014 by amushro

School days, school days, something…something..something about golden rules, but really it’s just the days when kids prove their parents have no idea whom they have been raising.

Remember when I told you how my little gal was having a hard time starting “school” (really it’s just one day a week not real, real school)? Well if you missed it, here it is.

After a few weeks of tears (both hers and mine), the last few drop-offs have gone beautifully! As she saunters down the hallway (the same hallway she spent weeks crying and screaming as if we were headed down the green mile), she turns to me and says “Bye Mommy! See you soon! I’ll miss you.” She jumps into the arms of her teacher and there I stand: proud, shocked, relieved, weepy, and pretty stoked to have a few kid free hours on my hands.

But it wasn’t until I went to pick her up from school that I learned I really have no idea who this kid is outside of the house. Oh, I KNOW who she is when she is home ruling the roost, but little did I know kids come in two varieties: the kid you know and your school kid.

When it was time to bust her out of school, I was actually greeted in the hallway by her teacher.Excited to see how my daughter’s craft, play, and snack filled day went, I became “that” mom and bombarded her teacher to give me every single stinkin’ detail. Here is how the convo went down:

Me: How did she do today!?!

Teacher: Well, today was not such a good day. (insert big sad face)

Me: Yikes! What happened? (Crap)

Teacher: Well she had a really hard time sharing toys with her friends.

Me: Really? (yeah, tell me about it. You’d think the second kid would be good at sharing)

Teacher: And she really didn’t listen to directions or what we were saying to her.

Me: Oh no! (Oh yes…fun, right?)

Teacher: And she just wanted to do what she wanted to do.

Me: Uh-huh…. (Yup, sounds about right and any second she is going to say she threw a HUGE tantrum)

Teacher: Then she had a very big tantrum.

Me: No! (Right on cue…)

Teacher: And she has a really bad runny nose

Me: Wait, what? Mimi has a runny nose? She didn’t have one when she left the house today.

Teacher: Oh, no! Oh wait! You aren’t….. oh, you are Mimi’s mommy. No, no, no I confused you with another Mommy. Oh no, Mimi was an angel. Good as gold…Good as gold. She is such a joy and such a good listener.

Me: Good as gold? (Are we talking about the same kid? The one with the wild blonde curly hair and the high pitch deafening screams. That kid was good as gold?).

I must have looked totally shell-shocked because her teacher had to lead me into the classroom by the elbow. There I saw my little lady sitting nicely at a round, yellow table with a few friends coloring. COLORING!! Who is this kid and what have they done with my daughter?

I scooped up that “Good as Gold” girl and we danced out of the classroom–no reason to blow her cover now. I may have no idea who she is at school, but I do know that she and I both love Starbucks after school. And she always wants a chocolate milk and a cakepop. At least I think she does…

Has this happened to you? Does your kid have a home personality and a school personality?

I Survived My Son’s First Field Trip

June 28, 2013 by amushro

When my son’s chi chi preschool informed me that in order for him to keep his spot in school for the fall he needed to attend the summer session, I was livid, furious, irate! How dare they take away precious summertime with my boy of long days at the pool, running wild at the splash park, and frequent trips to the beach. How dare………oh wait, they’re going to have pony rides and trips to a petting zoo. Dang, can I go?

The summer calendar the school’s activities looked way better than me filling up the water table 375 times in one morning. Plus the kid would probably be sick of my face by mid-June. So I conceited and sent him on his preschool way.

I knew the kids were going on field trips this summer, but Mommy Brain struck again because I never thought about the logistics of how the group of three and four year olds would actually get to the field trip destinations. Obviously they would load all of the munchkins on a HUGE yellow bus. You know the kind of bus that doesn’t have seat belts. The same buses that are involved in 26,000 accidents a year, but who’s counting?

My sweet little boy! How could I let my three year old on a bus? He won’t go! He will be terrified!

I need to prepare him because if I know anything, it’s my boy.

Days before the trip and all the way to school that day, I reminded him he would be riding the big yellow bus with his friends. They would go see a puppet show and have lunch at the theater. And when he gets off the bus, Mommy would be waiting for him. And I bet Mommy will have a treat. Yes, a treat.. ice cream. Lots of ice cream…

Walking to his classroom on the day of the field trip, I was still chanting over and over “you’re going to go on a big bus today! Won’t that be amazing?” Before we made it very far, a teacher told us to just head out to the buses because they were ready to leave.

I can’t do that! This boy is a man of routine and he doesn’t like when things change.

He will be terrified and burst into tears if I walk him over to the bus and then leave!

This isn’t how it was supposed to work. No, no, no!

I was supposed to drop him off in his class, like usual, and run out the front door.

This will be a disaster!

We walked up to the big yellow bus, he let go of my hand, and stood in line with his class. What the…? Wait, what just happened? That little traitor didn’t even look back. No tears. No hesitation. Just a big goofy grin and off he went to wait in line with his classmates all decked out in their blue school shirts.

If there is one thing I know. it’s my boy. And if there is one thing that will continue to surprise me, it’s my boy

Preschool Pyramid Scheme

February 16, 2013 by amushro

This time last year I had preschool on the brain. The county we live in is notoriously competitive in all aspects of education and finger painting and playing in the sandbox while earning your pre-K stripes is no different. I toured numerous schools, researched online for hours, and grilled anyone that had any knowledge of the best preschools in our area. After much stress and deliberation, we picked a preschool that impressed us in every way, but we were floored by the price. Can you get a 529 for preschool?

When hubby saw the tuition bill he was a bit shocked, but I was prepared with an argument that justified each and every penny. Every aspect of this preschool impressed me and I knew it was the right place for Monkey. I was even prepared to give up daily Starbucks trips if that would help sway Hubby to agreeing to the school (yeah right). What I wasn’t prepared for was the preschool pyramid schemes.

First it started with school pictures. Remember when you would get a tiny envelope with an even smaller print of your school picture? Your parents were given a few days to choose which package they wanted and how many wallets and 5x7s they needed to give to grandma. Well it would seem preschools have found a way around kids losing these envelopes or parents forgetting to order this year’s school picture because Monkey’s school sent home a huge package with wallets, 4x6s, 5×7, and 8x10s with a note attached. The note basically said you could pay for the package (if you are a good parent), order more pictures (if you are a great parent), or return all of the pictures (if you are an evil, crap, waste of a parent).

Look at this picture:

Who in their right mind could return any of these? Find me my checkbook! Everyone gets a picture! I am like Oprah but without the car and just a cute kid in his first school picture.

“You get a picture!”

“Everyone gets a ppppiiiicccctttuuuurrreee!”

Of course the school is getting a kickback from suckers like me that can’t bear to not buy every single picture they send home. They are also getting a kickback from the parents that missed the cutoff, were too embarrassed to admit how late they were, and just handed over a check. Brilliant on their part, right?

But the pyramid schemes didn’t end there. This week I received a note that explains each student will submit artwork to a company that will take the work of your Picasso and turn it into a coffee mug, iPad cover, and all sorts of useless crap you don’t need, but guess who will buy it? ME!

My only hope is that he continues the minimalist theme in his artwork, and I won’t have to buy this crap.But if he decides to go a little crazy and actually puts a little effort into his art sample, well then, watch out! I will be getting all Oprah again and handing out travel mugs with Monkey’s handiwork to everyone I meet.

I know it could be worse. The school could ask us to participate in constant fundraisers where I force my mom and dad to buy wrapping paper or frozen cookie dough.

A long time ago (probably after college when I was just hanging out at my parents’ house until I figured out what I wanted to do with my life), my dad promised me he would always pay for three things: my education, my teeth, and my running shoes. You know what, he has kept to that promise. So I will promise Monkey and Mimi that I will always pay for their education (no matter what stage they are in), their teeth (lord help them if they end up with my chompers, it is the least I can do), and all of the silly, overpriced nonsense that comes with school, camps, clubs, Disney on Ice, and anything else that comes ~~at my checkbook~~ our way.