Questionable Choices in Parenting

Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me

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New Here? Come for a tour!

March 25, 2015 by amushro

Well hey there, friend! Are you new around here? Did you wander on over after seeing my TLCme Life Hacks webseries or catch one of my TV appearances?  Great, I like you already! We love new people over here at Questionable Choices in Parenting. Let me give you a quick tour.

I’m Amanda: Candy Land loser, yoga pants enthusiast, a mom of three, Life Hacks Expert, a Lifestyle/Mom/Family writer and personality. You’ll find a lot of my life hacks and parenting tips posts here or over at my other site AmandaMushro.com. You can see some of my TV appearances here!

Something important to note: I’m all about fun. Even if that means turning myself into a turkey for morning TV!

turkey-hat

So stop and stay awhile! Check out my TLC webseries or check the  Can You Hack Motherhood tab for my very best life hacks. If you want to giggle, click on the Laughs tab and check out some of my funniest posts. If you want something a little more heart warming, check out the Family tab.

If you like what you see, subscribe to my blog (just add your email address over there on the left), or find me on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, Pinterest, or Instagram

 

Filed Under: Laughs Tagged With: Amanda Mushro, introductions, Life Hacks, parenting humor, Tips for when your kids are sick, Today Show, two under two

Helping Duchess Kate Survive Two Under Two

January 22, 2015 by amushro

On a rare occasion I was grocery shopping sans kids, I opted for the longest line while checking out so I could spend a few minutes catching up on all the celebrity gossip in the rag magazines. Don’t you dare judge me. It’s my guilty pleasure.

Through the dozens of celebrity divorce rumors and Kardashian family splashed pages was an article that literally made me laugh out loud :“How will Duchess Kate handle two under two?”

Surviving Two Under Two

While I absolutely adore Duchess Kate and her little royal family, surviving the trials and tribulations of two under two is really no skin off her back and probably won’t even ruffle that perfectly coifed mane.

For the rest of us common folk, a palace full of nannies, chefs, maids, and assistants will not be at our beck and call during this daunting time. But just for giggles, let’s pretend the Duchess is one of our gal pals and share what really happens when you have two kids in two years, shall we?

  1. Tears- lots of them. Some from your newborn and some from your toddler, but a whole lot will be from you. With a mixture of pregnancy hormones, exhaustion, and a dash of the terrible twos, it can be a real shit storm.
  2. Just like Elsa, you need to Let it Go because, honey, there is no perfect mom and there will be chaos for quite some time. Laugh at it and be like the rest of us and start a Mommy Blog.
  3. He or she that cries the loudest will get Mommy first. It’s very Darwin but then again, we are in survival mode.
  4. Expect a HUGE decline in personal hygiene. Embrace it. After a particularly long spell of not showering I thought “Why the hell would I go DAYS without showering with just ONE kid?” Flip side, our water bill went down significantly.
  5. Exhaustion is inevitable. A newborn that is up most of the night and a toddler ready to play at 7 AM on constant repeat. Coffee and Diet Coke during the day, wine at night—the Mom’s holy trinity.
  6. Get yourself some help! I was that mother that would never think of leaving her first born with a babysitter, but three months into two under two, and I basically tackled a babysitter on the playground and dragged her back to my house to watch my kids just so I could shower or maybe visit heaven alone Target alone
  7. Did you get both kids dressed, fed, out the door and to a doctor’s appointment all before 11 AM? Well then, high five yourself, Mamma! Even if it took three hours and six outfit changes, you celebrate these wins no matter how small!

Two under two

But don’t be too scared because now that I’m on the other side of those early years, I sort of feel like Gloria Estefan singing “Coming out of the dark…. I can finally see the light and it’s shining on me…

At 3 and 5, my kids are getting, dare I say, a little easier. Both kids are very independent and I don’t feel like I’m doing 100% for them day in and day out. Plus I feel like an expert in some aspects of parenting because once I wrap up one phase with the first kid, it’s quickly time for the other to start into that phase.

But more importantly, they really, really love each other. I love listening to their sweet conversations of nonsense and watching them snuggle on the couch while they watch Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs for the 400th time. When my son is at school, my girl misses her big bro, and when they are reunited, they hug like it’s been ages since they were together.

So even though those early days were touch and go for me, I’m glad my kids are so close in age. Would I do it all again? ………………………………………Oh, sorry I think I just blacked out for a second reliving those first few years. No, no, absolutely not.

Filed Under: Family, Laughs Tagged With: Amanda Mushro, Duchess Kate, surviving two under two, the Royal baby, The Royal family, two under two

Two Under Two Reminder

April 26, 2013 by amushro

Today, Mimi has hit the ripe ol’ age of 22 months. According to some random baby website she should be able to:

Say at least 20 words

Sleep at least 12 hours uninterrupted

Has the ability to wrap her Daddy around her little finger

Can clear the room with her ear-piercing screams and tantrums

While we still have two months before this little lady is two, this particular month has really struck a chord with me because  Monkey was 22 months when I had Mimi.

 

Proud Brother

 In preparation for her birth and when trying to wrap my brain around having “two under two,” I remember thinking “He is so big now and so independent.”

Ummmm aca-scue me? What the hell was I thinking?

I look at my sweet Mimi and even though she is not a baby-baby anymore, she is a baby and sure as hell not independent. Unless, of course, you count going down the slide by herself or when she screams “Beat it!” to our dog when Suggie has gotten too close to her Goldfish crackers.

Here is Monkey at the hospital meeting his sister for the first time. He is wearing a “Big Brother” shirt. Big Brother? He isn’t a big anything! He was just a tiny toddler that is freaked out about seeing his mom in some random hospital bed and can’t understand why his Nene is handing him some baby. Thanks, but no thanks, lady. Just give me a snack instead, OK.

Big Brother

I love when people ask me how he adjusted to having a sister. He was so little that he has no memory without her around to cry, mess up his toys, or to share my lap. So the transition for him was no biggie. Me on the other hand, well let’s just say it wasn’t as smooth.

Two under two1

When I was pregnant and exhausted from chasing a toddler that was full of energy, I would fret over how difficult it would be to have kids so close in age. How would I handle their sleep when they are on such different schedules? How would I get two kids in and out of car seats without losing one in traffic? Is it even possible to get them both dressed and out the door before nine AM?

Here is the part where you expect me to say that all of that worrying was pointless, right? WRONG!

All of the difficult scenarios that I could imagine happened and they were usually worse than I expected. I spent most of that first year sleep deprived and crying.   Many mornings were spent kicking a soccer ball to the boy while I nursed the baby. Now THAT is multi-tasking!

I couldn’t understand why I thought it was so hard to shower with just one kid.  With two it would be goodbye soap and water, hello perpetual ponytails

When the fog started to lift and we made it to her first birthday, her invitations said this:

Happy First Birthday, Mimi!

but it should have said

Thank God We Survived!

Now that time has passed, I have adopted that strange ailment that affects all mothers at some point. You start to forget how bad something sucked and your memories get all bury and wishy-washy, just enough for you to look back on a particularly hard time fondly. Try it on yourself.

Morning sickness? Eh, all that vomiting wasn’t so bad? I actually look very nice in green.

Labor and delivery?  Tis’ but a scratch.

The first year with two under two? It was lovely. I cherished every moment.

Could this be a hallucinogenic side effect from pregnancy hormones?

Here’s the thing I know for sure, everything happens for a reason and our life is exactly where is should be. I wouldn’t trade my two under two for anything.  Because if I even thought for a minute that life would be better or easier if we had waited a little longer before we had our second,  I would be a fool because I wouldn’t have my Mimi and she is perfection and life is perfection with this little hurricane!

22 months

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: birthday, humor, kids, labor, maternity pictures, parenting, pregnancy, sibblings, two under two

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