Questionable Choices in Parenting
Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me
Silly me! I’ve been over at the DC Ladies writing about awesome date nights that don’t require you to leave your house and simple Halloween treats that would any rushed Mamma can make!
So if you want to have a little alone time with your honey, click here
And those easy and yummy treats can be found here
*I am a member of the Collective Bias ® Social Fabric ®Community. This post has been compensated as part of a social shopper insight study for Collective Bias and their client*
I really love taking two small children to the grocery store to shop for the week. Wait, I have to catch my breath from laughing so hard. The truth is having two kids in tow while food shopping can be enough to make this gal lose her mind, but this week I had a secret weapon thanks to Rubi Kiosk coffee . If the kids can have snacks to entertain and distract them, then Mamma can have Seattle’s Best fresh ground coffee while I browse the aisles of our local grocery store.
I am a firm believer that with coffee in hand, I can accomplish just about anything. However, with a delicious cup of pumpkin spice coffee that didn’t break the bank to buy, well then watch out world!
At first I was a little nervous about getting coffee from a kiosk. I mean come on, I’m used to paying close to five dollars for fancy coffee and waiting ten minutes for it to be made. I just assumed I would have to take the coffee the way the machine decided, but there were tons of choices of flavors as well as several different milk and sweetener options. So if you are just as picky as me, you can get your personalized your coffee just the way you like it.
Who would have thought that watching delicious coffee being made from a kiosk could be so entertaining?
This isn’t a machine full of coffee just sitting and waiting for you to stop by and push a few buttons. Once you make your selection, the coffee beans are ground as soon as you order. And a few minutes later I had hot fresh brewed coffee.
So I took my fresh Seattle’s Best coffee, my coffee cheerleaders, my coupons, and we were off to shop. However, this time the usual cart pushing, rows and rows of sugary cereal, and not being able to find corn starch (seriously where do they put that stuff?) wasn’t so bad. In fact, I would venture to say I actually enjoyed grocery shopping with my kids. I know, shocking right?
Find a Rubi Kiosk Coffee near you and here is your chance for a free cup of coffee !
Hey Pals, this week I found myself preparing for the Mommy TMI vlogs by hiding away in one favorite rooms of the house. It ain’t pretty, it ain’t glamourous, but no one found me for twenty minutes and it was glorious. Glorious!
This week is all about the Bs–Beach–Bedtime–Blogging. Ch-ch-check out my answers.
*I received free LeapFrog products in order to host the LeapFrog sponsored MommyParty. The opinions expressed here are my own*
We are huge fans of LeapFrog in this house, and when the fabulous people at LeapFrog asked me to host a “Ready, Set, Read & Write party for my kids and their friends, I hopped (get it–LeapFrog/ hopped), at the chance. Even better, the new LeapReader is geared to early readers and writers, which is perfect for my kids and their pals.
We had 8 of our favorite friends (yes 8 preschoolers) over for a fun-filled party where they had the chance to try out the new LeapReader.
Leap Reader is the complete learn-to read -and write solution that combines three essential literacy skills: reading, writing and listening. Leap Reader is designed to enhance vocabulary development and reading comprehensions to help children become confident, independent readers and writers.
Here is the great party pack that we received from LeapFrog:
So what is all this?
Two LeapReaders™
LeapReader™ books including:
Learn to Write Letters With Mr. Pencil Writing Workbook
Talking Words Factory Writing Workbook
LeapFrog Disney-Pixar Monsters University 3D book
Also includes 16 pairs of LeapFrog Monsters University 3D glasses!
Get Ready for Kindergarten book
Talking Words Factory Flash Cards
Two LeapReader™ Sampler books
We setup the “Read, Write, Listen Lounge” and the kids couldn’t wait to try everything out! They were able to familiarize themselves with how the LeapReader works and could easily switch between the audio books, games, letter writing, and letter sounds features. All of the moms were amazed at how easily the kids were able to interact with everything in the LeapReader party pack.
Here are some of the reasons that we are loving the LeapReader:
The kids took turns trying out the LeapReader, but the Moms were loving how the kids truly enjoyed the books even while patiently waiting for their turn. And we all know how hard it is to wait to play with the cool new toy. Just watch:
One of the biggest hits of the party was the Monsters Inc 3D Book.
Who doesn’t want to practice math when it deals with candy?
We will definitely start adding to our LeapReader library during the holiday season. Affordable, quality, educational toys that my kids and I love, yes please!
If you want to learn more about the LeapReader you can connect with LeapFrog on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
Disclosure: This post is part of a sponsored campaign with Leap Frog™ and MomSelect. All thoughts and opinions are my own.
Deciding to add to your brood can be a difficult decision, but luckily for you, I have devised a simple quiz to help you determine if you can expect a bun in your oven in the near future.
Results:
0 We get it, you’re done. DONE. You’ve sent your husband off to the guillotine and tossed out the baby bibs as soon as your last kid could wipe their own face.
1-3 You may have thought about having another kid, but then your current children performed their magic (tantrum, multiple trips to time out) and they cured your baby fever ASAP.
4-7 You put up a good front, but you could be convinced either way. You’ve got a mild case of baby fever, but it wouldn’t take much for you to “pull the goalie.”
8-10 Come on, who are you kidding? You already have one leg up in the stirrups.
Do you drink wine? Shut up, me too!
Since it’s socially unacceptable to crack open a bottle of red at 8 AM, do you wait until your kids are asleep to booze? Yes! Come on, this is just too strange! Wanna be best friends and get a BFF necklace like this:
You know what else I really love, new best friend? I love science experiments. Maybe it’s because I really loved Mr. Wizard’s World as a kid. Remember that guy?
The other night I was pouring myself a glass of wine into my favorite Pottery Barn wine glass, and the Mr. Wizard in me started to think about volume. Not the volume that my daughter can reach while she is mid-tantrum, but the volume of wine that my HUGE wine glasses can actually hold.
Now I know these aren’t normal size glasses, but my days aren’t normal sized and they call for big, fancy wine glasses that can hold the amount of “Mommy Juice” needed to take the edge off the day’s tantrums, messes, clean-ups, butt wipes, nose wipes, school drop offs, school pick up… you get the idea.
So I decided to perform a little experiment. How much wine can my Pottery Barn wine glass hold and what do these findings mean for me?
Here is my list of equipment:
Why blue food coloring? Well blue is the most scientific color, just ask the makers of maxi-pad commercials.
Now on to my methods: these are the wine glasses full of water that is pretending to be wine. I know the glasses are a little full, but just imagine Mamma had a really bad day and stop judging for the sake of science, OK?
So how much wine do these glasses hold?
Holy cannoli that’s a lot of grape juice! Just under three cups for the white wine glass and just over three cups for the red.
I decided to consult the most reliable online source, Wikipedia, and according to them, the average “pour” for wine is five to six ounces. That looks like this:
Ridiculous? Hand me that bottle. No one has time for you to be stingy with the booze.
Now somewhere in the article is stated that the wine glass should be double in size so the wine can “aerate,” but I can’t bothered with those sorts of details.
And now the most important part of the science experiment: what conclusions did I come to.
What is the oldest thing in your closet? Come on, you can tell me. Wanna see mine? Well then, you have to watch the vlog for my answers!
And here is the video that refused to go into the vlog. Proof that the white noise works!!
Now tell me your answers!
Some people will tell you that as a parent the most significant moments in child rearing are the milestones like the first time your baby walks, says “Mamma”, or is old enough to wipe their own butt. I’m here to tell you that is crap. Sure, sure those are all important moments, epic moments. However, the most important moment of a parent’s life is stumbling across a great babysitter.
Not just any old babysitter but “the babysitter.” Your go-to-gal for date night. The one that your children (and you) leap into the air for joy upon her arrival. The one that probably takes better care of your kiddos than certain family members (uh-huh, you too?). The truth is “the babysitter” doesn’t just take care of your kids; they can save your life or at least your sanity.
I knew I had found “the one” when someone inquired about my babysitter and I got all Gollum on them and referred to her as “my precious”.
I spotted our Ashley on the playground while my son ran around like a wild man, my daughter was just a tiny newborn, and I was an exhausted and overwhelmed mess. On that day, the playground was full of the usual suspects:
And then it was like the fog lifted when I saw a little girl I knew from the mommy and me gym class scene playing with a very attentive babysitter who spoke sweetly to the tiny lady and smiled the entire time.
Strategically I scooted my daughter’s stroller up to this vision on the playground and started chatting her up. She was kind, well spoken, experienced, and in 30 seconds I had bribed her to become my new babysitter. When she agreed to watch my kids once a week Rihanna’s “We Found Love in a Hopeless Place” started playing in my head.
After two blissful years my babysitter decided to ruin my life and is going back to school to become a teacher. How dare she try to better herself and the lives of other children and not sit around to be at my beck and call on the rando days I have something to do? I kid, I kid (sorta).
Even with her packed schedule, she still squeezes us in so I can take Hubby out for his birthday and helps me out in a pinch. She’s even coming early so I can shower and get ready in peace. See, I told you this one was a gem!
So here is my advice: if you find an Ashley, “the babysitter”, move her into your house and never let her go. Be sure to feed her, but just keep her close so that she doesn’t wander too far.
And don’t you ask for her number, unless you want me to look like this:
By now you know that I’m pretty useless during natural disasters (dam earthquakes) and fortunately for my kids and my nerves, we have only had minor boo boos and just a few trips to the local ER. Why did I even write that? Quick, someone knock on wood! But we haven’t been so lucky in the teeth department because even though he has the sweetest smile, my little man has a mouth full of cavities.
Because he is only four and he went bananas on the lady that attempted to take x-rays of his mouth, the dentist recommended that we bang out all of his dental issues while he is in the hospital under careful sedation. And, I’m crying again…
Of course there are millions of scenarios that could be so much worse, dangerous and life threatening, but really it’s all about perspective and what you are going through in that minute. While I am thanking my lucky stars that this is not very serious, I’m still super freaked out and have every intention of losing my shit the minute my kid has been sedated.
At his pre-op appointment with the pediatrician, I asked the nurse to stop calling it “surgery” because my heart can’t take it. When the Doc asked me if I needed anything else, my reply of “how about a couple of Valium?” fell flat on my none-too-impressed audience. I mean dang, I was just kidding (no I wasn’t).
My panic over this procedure has me pulling out the big guns, and I headed off to church to light every candle I could get my hands on. I think I learned in CCD class that candle lighting is the fastest way to get your intentions heard, right? I left the kids at home because I thought it was best to not to have evil feelings of snatching your kids up by their armpit because they are misbehaving in church while laying the prayers on thick. When a little old lady walked by the candles I felt like the mean kids on the bus on Forrest Gump, but I was saying “candles taken.”
My boy is precious cargo and I’m not one that holds in my tears well. The dentist said only one parent can go back with him while he is being sedated and it needs to be the strongest parent. Hubby nodded and said “Guess I will be going in with him.”
Ummmm, acca-scuse me?
No, no you will not go back with him. I’m his mother. I’m the one that birthed him. I’m the one that will be with him while he’s sedated.
When he’s scared, it’s me he wants.
When he’s sick, it’s me he wants.
Am I going to hold it together during most of this process. No, but I promise to only cry in the bathroom where he can’t see me.
Will I threaten to maim the dentist, dental assistant, and the anesthesiologist if my boy isn’t 100%? Yes, yes I will.
Will I drink the largest bottle of wine when this thing is all over? Yes, are you buying?
So on Friday send some positive thoughts my little man’s way, will ya? And if you have any extra Valium hanging around your house, send it my way. I kid, I kid (no I’m not).