Questionable Choices in Parenting
Laughing at life as a parent so they don't commit me
Fun fact: I LOVE Valentine’s Day. I love all the hearts, flowers, and candy. But what I really love is making this sweet day even sweeter for my kids. Aaron and Lyla joined me at TLC to make a few Valentine’s Day treats and activities, and I really think you are going to love what we did. Check it out!
Click right here to see the video!
I love everything about Valentine’s Day—especially making treats for my little sweets. Check out my latest from TLCme where I’m putting together these adorable and super easy robots. What I love about these robots is you can make them with healthy snacks and there are perfect for class parties! For more life hacks, swing on over to my web series TLCMe Life Hacks
Because it’s not really a holiday until I’ve painted a mason jar! My latest from TLCme Lifehacks– this adorable jar that is easy to make and perfect for holding all your sweets on the sweetest day of the year. To catch more of my videos, hop on over to TLC!
Need some sweets for your littlest sweetie? Here are two adorable and easy treats that are perfect for Valentine’s Day treats at home or for a class party!
Happy Valentine’s Day, lovebugs! I do hope someone special is going to shower you with delicious candy, heartfelt cards, a few foot rubs, and maybe something shiny. Well even if you just get a few dead flowers from the last bouquet at the grocery store, remember: it’s the thought that counts (whatever).
I’ll be honest, my husband rocks Valentine’s Day Every. Single Year. I’m pretty amazing at planning this hearts and flowers day for my kids, but when it comes to him, I usually drop the ball, big time. So this year I’m changing all that. This year, I’m going to end this day saying “Valentine’s Day…Nailed it!”
Wanna see how? Well head over to Felicity Huffman’s site What the Flicka? where I am the sharing my Valentine’s Day plans. Take notes, friends. Take notes. Click right here to be magically transported.
A very special treat for my readers! My best blogging buddy, Stephanie from When Crazy Meets Exhaustion has created a Valentine’s Day special post for you! Enjoy and send some love her way!
Well hello there, friends!
When my pal Amanda asked if I would write a little Valentine somethin’ for her to share with you, I was all for it. I mean, I feel right at home here with you, her loyal readers. As proof, I’ve taken off my bra and just helped myself into your fridge.
Wanna know a secret? Amanda and I have only met ONCE! We work together in a virtual school, and the year our daughters were born, we hiked it to a centrally located Olive Garden for some bread stick yumminess and good conversation. Since that day, we’ve been electronically inseparable. She’s dubbed us same-sex soul mates because we have a freaky ton in common: our little boys who own our hearts are about the same age; we were both smitten enough to try for #2 right around the boys’ first birthdays and have been blessed with diva daughters; we’re both English teachers who started our careers in less-than-stellar conditions (you’ve seen Dangerous Minds, yes?). The list goes on, but I’m not here to discuss that list. I’m here to break you off a piece of this:
Valentine’s Day: a reason for lovers to love a little more. Or to massacre a bunch of people in Chicago. But let’s focus on the former, shall we? It’s all chocolate hearts and steamy sex for many couples, but when some of that there steaminess results in a bundle of joy and there’s more coming out of your hooha than going in it, well, shit gets real.
1. Getting ready to be on display in public, formerly known as “primping,” entails much more than a few swipes of mascara and spritzes of hairspray these days. When did those forehead lines get so deep? Is there no concealer on earth that will hide the under eye baggage? And your Spanx aren’t saved for special occasions any more; they’re for any occasion that puts you in the same room as women who do not need the extra suffocation support.
2. You make an early-bird dinner reservation because you want to get into bed as soon as possible. To sleep.
3. You clean your plate at said early-bird dinner because you no longer worry about looking 5-months pregnant with a food baby. That sexy Vicky Secrets get-up has since been replaced by sweatpants.
4. A glass of red will be enough to make you feel hung over in the morning.
5. Try as you might, you and the hubs will talk about the kids for the majority of the evening.
Did you hear our Boy sing the new song he learned at preschool?
YES! He has the voice of an angel.
He really does. I bet he’ll be a doctor and find the cure for cancer, or premature balding. He’s that smart.
And how adorable is he?! I mean, he’s so much cuter than the other kids in his class.
6. You’re obligated to share whatever gifts you receive: your mini-Mariah Carey wants to hold one of your flowers? Give’em up, Mama. Prince Charming insists he sample your chocolate? Get a Wet Wipe–it’s going to get messy up in here.
7. Once the kids have been tucked in and you and your guy could potentially be knocking ‘da boots, you’ll opt to watch CNN because this debt is outta control and, as adults and parents, it is our responsibility to keep abreast of the situation. Abreast. Hehehehe!
8. Even though there was no overnight stay in a luxury hotel and the crab cakes from dinner have given you explosive gas, you will fall asleep in your handsome man’s arms, the proud Mama of perfect children, with a sense of pride and fulfillment that only comes when a woman’s vajayjay has, in fact, become a two-way street.
Happy Heart Day, everyone!
I hope to see you again. Feel free to come take your bra off at my place any time…wait. That just sounds bad.
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Since the shelves at my local pharmacy are lined with heart-shaped boxes of candy, creepy stuffed animals dressed as Cupid, and cards with pictures of dogs holding signs declaring “I woof you,” Valentine’s Day must be a comin’.
In my typical over-the-top-mom fashion, I planned three meals for the kids that will all be heart-shaped, picked out the type of candy that I like best since I will eat ¾ of it, the house will be covered in construction paper hearts, and Monkey and Mimi will receive special Valentine’s Day presents from Mommy and Daddy. *pats self on back*
While I would never dream of not making this a special holiday for my kids, my husband might not get such special attention. It really doesn’t seem fair because he really tries to go out of his way to make my Valentine’s Day special. Here is how it will go: he will send me beautiful flowers because he knows I am a sucker for flowers, he will pull out the big guns and sign them from the kids (I am tearing up already), he will buy me more candy that I will hide from the children and eat in the privacy of my closet, he will take me to a fancy dinner where I will eat too much calorie laden food and drink too much red wine, he will bring me home fat, full, and tipsy where I shall pass out from a food comma and dash all of his hopes of getting a little frisky on this romantic holiday. What a lucky guy, huh?
This year, I promise to put the same effort into his Valentine’s Day as I do the kids’ day. So here goes nothing, this is what he can expect:
1. I promise to shave above the knee and landscape all of my girly parts. I know, I know—you real fancy, girl!
2. When we go out, I am going all out: hair, makeup, nails, pre-baby underwear, and no yoga pants! I also promise to wear a name tag so that you can recognize me. I don’t want to startle you too much with this fancy new me.
3. When we are out to dinner, I will refrain from nagging about the fact that the back yard is a muddy mess, nagging about the garbage cans not taken in the back the same day as trash pickup, nagging about the fact we need to pick a date for our summer vacation, nagging—-OK how about I just shut my trap for the day and put a ban on nagging. Just for one day because I don’t think I could handle more than one day.
4. If we go to a movie, I will let you pick! Go crazy, big guy! Although I really love anything with Bradley Cooper, Jude Law, Channing Tatum, or George Clooney, but you can totally pick the movie. It’s just that I really hate scary movies, but you already know that. But go ahead, you pick. Just nothing that is too long because I will get sleepy. How about nothing with a wizard, elf, or a light saber? OK, go ahead and pick.
5. You can expect to come home to a romantic scene of candlelight and soft music. Just kidding! We have two small kids and I will probably be sleepy by nine o’clock. How about I make you a deal, you get to watch ESPN and I won’t complain? Done!
And that, my friends, is how you keep your husband happy on this romantic holiday!